Jaana : The Girl He Loved Too Much

Chapter 33

A wave of mixed emotions flooded her mind. She stepped out for the first time after her marriage. Though she was not deprived of feeling the breeze on her skin, this was more than venturing into the backyard garden. The thought of going into the outside world felt surreal, but Shahzain's state was filling her heart with dread. She was scared to even feel the happiness of going out, given the reason they were going out. Making her face his monsters is not what she was rooting for. She was hell-scared and angry at herself for talking back to him and challenging him. She sat in his jeep half-heartedly, where a part of her wanted to apologize and run back inside while the other half wanted to go out, even if he is taking her out in anger but atleast she is getting to step out.

She lifted her veil slightly to see properly. Why are we here? she thought, looking around. "Shahzain...this...is this...?" "Yes, this is what you think it is. Zahanabad." he responded. "Wh-why have you brought me here?" swallowing a lump in her throat, she gathered the courage to ask him why he had brought her to a red light area.

He turned towards her and found her anxious eyes taking in the surroundings. The narrow streets have old houses on both sides, with many small windows. She turned her face downwards, seeing girls standing at the doorstep wearing clothes hardly covering their bodies. Some were flirting with men passing by. She closed her eyes tight, seeing a man grinding against a woman ticking her waist with a currency note. She felt pukish seeing the obscene display of sexual activities.

Her eyes shot open as he pressed harder on the brakes. Coming out of the jeep, he moved towards her side. "Get down," he said, opening her door. "Shah-Shahzain. Why are we here?" She asked, fearing the reply. Instead of answering her, he pulled her out of the jeep with her wrist. "I-I am sorry, please," she started begging him as he dragged her towards one of the houses. Her words stopped his feet. "Sorry for what?"

"For what I said back at the house, I just got scared seeing splashes of blood of you, but please, please don't do this." she answered frantically. "Do what?" he asked, holding her from both her arms. "Do what, Sitara?" his grip tightened around her. She whimpered, and tears started flowing down her eyes. She was scared. How could he do this? How can he bring her here? And why? All she can think of was his threat that he gave to her about Nargis when she tried to escape. Will he leave her here? Will he sell her to these people? Her apprehensions got the best of her and knelt at his feet crying hard. "Please don't do this to me. I am really sorry, I-" he pulled her up before she could say more. "Do what, Sitara. What do you think I am going to do with you here?" He asked, holding her tightly. "Say it," he said, shaking her, causing her to let out a yelp. "I-I- " "Say what do you think I am going to do to you here?" he asked again. "Wil-will you sell me?" she said with breaking voice.

Her words made him see red. His grip tightened around her elbow, and she let out a cry because it was hurting too much. "Say that again," his words made her look in his eyes. The rage in his eyes made her visibly tremble. His unwavering glare held her in place. They were blazing murderously. It felt like he would burn her by just one look. She hasn't seen him this angry, not even when he killed their chef, not when he burned her throat, not even when he made her burn Nargis' hands.

"I said fucking say that again!" he bellowed making her tremble. "How dare you? How dare you say it?" How dare you even think this?" He shouted at her. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight in front of her. His body was shivering with anger. Veins in his neck standing out in livid ridges.

"Hamari mohabbat ko itna sasta banane ki himmat kaise hui tumhari. Tumhare liye apni jaan de sakte hain hum, is poori duniya ko jala kar raakh kar sakte hain hum, aur tumne itne asaani se ye keh diya ki hum apni mohabbat ko bech denge. Itni choti aur ghatiya baat aai kaise tumhare mann mei." (How dare you belittle my love like this. I can die for you in a blink of an eye and can burn this whole world down to ashes in a heartbeat, no questions, and you, how easily you said that I will sell that love of mine. How could you even think of such derogatory thing? )