"'God' Gave me You" (ENGLISH VERSION)

" 'God' Gave Me You."

*Sigh* here he is... "tomar". Toyong-marc (Soy-marc) in short. I've known him since we were in grade school, but we've only became classmates during high school. He's so weird. Doesn't speak at school, always shy, and looks like a boy who is always on a bad day. Our classmates didn't like him so he get bullied everytime. They were just joking, and yet, he was getting so sensitive about it. But in all fairness, he's kind. He is calling our house often, asking questions about homework, it's obvious that he just wanted to talk to me.. yet, He's still nervous. It's also funny because he always says hello and then asks if I'm okay... even though it's redundant and then we get into awkward silence because of how timid he is. Actually, I appreciate him. But his personality? It's a turn-off because he acted so awkward. Hopefully, one day he will change. If he has a crush on me, he should fight for his feelings but he's very shy. Everything goes through letters, gives me chocolates and just smiles at me very rarely but..

Hello? I'm alone here in the waiting shed, you can easily approach me, talk to me. I will still hesitate to come to you. Otherwise other guys will get ahead of you if you are like that. Talk to me Marc, I'm just five centimeters away from you.

He's cute.. but he has a very low self-esteem. That's why he's always bullied. Pitiful. I hope at least one day, he will fight for himself. How can he fight for me once I'm the one being attacked? Hey, I don't want to have a boyfriend like that. Anyway, I'm not in a hurry because I'm still looking for my ideal type. The one, who is good at playing guitar, sings, can also play the piano, is tall, and also smart. But study first. Mom doesn't want it yet either.

We are in Fourth Year HS. He doesn't cry a bit anymore. (Good.) I'm pretty serious about studying and participating in school programs. A lot of guys used to court me but they're not my type and I really don't want to. I'm often told that I was stubborn and snobbish but, I don't care. This is how I really am, but once I become your friend, I will be very loyal to you. Just don't fool me because I'll be angry. ;)

We had a retreat. The proctors told us to reach out and apologize to the people who we'd hurt before in this room. I didn't approach Marc because...I don't know. It's like I hate him. I'm sorry but I just prayed for him for the things I did wrong or the things I've done on him before. But I really don't want to approach him. That's all.

I was in college. This is where I improved, met more people from different walks of life, performed on stage but with a bigger and more audience, and mostly, this is where I met my first boyfriend. He is so almost perfect. Tall, well-built, a basketball player on our campus, and there are a bunch of girls who really like him, but the only one he saw was me.. only me. I feel the love so much. He's proud because it's like what you've been waiting for is finally here... It was surreal. He and I already had it.

But Life is a big surprise, we also lost it. Maybe it's because of those types? Handsome, Masculine, Athletic, but a-holes as always. Maybe he's looking for more of me.. Maybe in time, Maybe when we are both okay, maybe it will be possible again that us to meet each other and start again. It's painful because he is my FIRST boyfriend and he just throw it away. I'm not focusing on it right now because I have a lot of more important things to do: My life, My family, and my friends. From the bottom of my heart, He's really special. And will always be special in my heart forever.

I now work in a government-owned company.. Just recently took the civil service exam. And I am very thankful because I passed. Many are saying that it is difficult to pass but here I am, made it! So I'm really proud of myself. And that's also for my mom. Well, it's good that I also had an additional title in my career since I have my bachelor's degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management.

As time flies, it seems that recently we were just cramming for quizzes and projects. But now, real life is even more simple and easier than those written exams that you won't apply for when you're already working. So, here I am now.. stuck in the office. Good bonding with workmates after shifts, food trips, travel, and more.