Ever since my encounter with Thomas at the bookstore and coffee shop, I find myself unable to shake off thoughts of him. It's unusual for me to have many friends, so this new connection feels different and more significant than any other friendship.
At the same time, there's a part of me that feels somewhat pathetic. I realize that receiving a little bit of affection shouldn't make me obsessed, but it seems that Thomas has had that effect on me. Deep down, I suspect he views me as nothing more than an acquaintance. While I wouldn't be surprised by that, I can't deny it would be disappointing. Strangely enough, I care a great deal about his opinion of me. As a result, I've started putting more effort into my appearance at school. Not because I'm trying to impress him specifically, but if I can at least look presentable, maybe he'll want to continue being friends. Thomas has awakened a longing for friendship within me that I've never really experienced before, and I don't know how I feel about that.
What if I end up hurt?
I always told myself that falling in love is something I never wanted. However, what if friendship carries the same risks? What will happen if I invest all my energy in Thomas, only to find out that he doesn't feel the same way? I can't afford to let myself go through that pain. But at the same time, I can't seem to stay away from Thomas. Literally, I see him every day, so even if I wanted some distance, it wouldn't be possible.
—
"So, do you even understand what we're doing in class?" Thomas asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. He softly chuckled as if finding the situation mildly comical.
It was lunchtime now, and our conversations with Thomas often revolved around the physics class we shared. I had a decent grasp of the subject, but not enough to confidently explain it to Thomas.
"Um, kind of, but not really," I replied, realizing my response didn't make much sense. This caused Thomas to chuckle even more, his laughter infectious.
"Why don't we study together sometime?" Thomas suggested, his eyes meeting mine with a spark of excitement, as if he had just stumbled upon a brilliant idea. In that moment, I coudve sworn my heart dropped to the floor for a split second, my heart skipping a beat and a wave of nervousness washed over me.
I couldn't help but wonder-
Why did his suggestion make me so nervous?
"Yeah, for sure," I replied, trying to sound confident about the idea of studying together, even though deep down, I was terrified. This time, it wouldn't be a mere coincidence that we saw each other, and it wouldn't be solely because we had to attend the same class. This time, we would deliberately spend time together.
"Great! It's a plan," Thomas said, flashing me a smile.
Was he genuinely excited to hang out with me, or was he just using me as a way to improve his own grasp of physics? After all, I had admitted that I wasn't great at the subject. So, if he knew this, then he must have some interest in spending time with me, right? It was a confusing situation, but it did present me an opportunity to get to know Thomas better and work on improving my grades—something I had been needing to do for a while now.
—
After we agreed to study at my house on Tuesday afternoon at Six, I shared my address with Thomas. He explained that his own home would likely be too chaotic and noisy to concentrate, thanks to his lively younger sisters, Penny and Sofia, aged 4 and 7. Anticipating our study session, I diligently tidied up my room, assuming it would be our designated study area. However, a nagging thought crept into my mind—would Thomas judge me based on the posters hanging on my walls? They mostly depicted classic movies and a range of shows that I thoroughly enjoyed. Maybe, maybe not. He's an artist himself, so maybe he appreciates other sources of media the way I do.
5:47
Thirteen minutes remained. Thirteen minutes until Thomas would catch a glimpse of the true me, stepping into my room—a space that had been kept hidden from all but my parents over the past two years. The nerves coursing through me hardly captured the magnitude of my emotions. Thomas' opinion meant a lot to me, and the way I conducted myself during this study session could determine the fate of our future friendship.
With each passing second, anticipation intensified, wrapping around me like a tight coil. These next moments held the power to shape our connection and reveal a side of me that I had carefully shielded. It was a vulnerable juncture, where the walls I had erected would be exposed, either inviting Thomas closer or pushing him away.
The minutes ticked away as I eagerly counted down to 6:00. The moment was imminent, and I could sense the weight of anticipation hanging in the air. Any second now, he would arrive. Any second now.
And then, it happened.
Ding!
The sound of the doorbell reverberated through the house, sending a jolt of excitement and nervousness coursing through my veins. I wasted no time; I hurried downstairs, my heart pounding in my chest, reaching a crescendo with each step. As I approached the door, my hand trembling slightly, I opened it.
There stood Thomas, his presence filling the doorway. Our eyes met in an instant, a magnetic connection forged between us.
"Hey," he greeted, his voice warm with a genuine smile.
YOU ARE READING
strangers | newtmas
Fiksi Penggemar"don't talk to strangers or you might fall in love" In a small, close-knit town called Willowbrook, where everyone knows each other, lives Newt, who's cautious and reserved, and believes in the power of love but feared the unknown risks that came wi...
