TheSugarcubeSaga

6-4-15

Salutations.

It me, Hope Marie. Today is technically Troye's birthday, but seeing as I live in California, it's still the fourth.

Today also happened to be the day that I finally graduated from the same school I'd been going to since pre-k.

This is just a beginning chapter, but I want to keep the dates noted, and show that I LITERALLY started a new chapter of something, as soon as an old one ended. Idk, symbolism? I like to think I've always had a flair for that.

Idk where to start tbh. I guess I want to write this to just show parts of me, and things that I think about and little habits and weird shit like that. Memories, obviously, since I'm a nostalgia whore. Chapters about music and books and fanfiction and fandoms and figuring out my sexuality (demiromantic/demisexual btw) and the story behind random acquaintance, etc.

I'd started one of these before, that was called An Organized Mess, but it was back in the YTM/WTH days, and I only had two mutuals that I made an effort to talk to frequently (I talk to one occasionally now, the other I haven't heard from since November) it was a bust. But now, my good friends, @/frantasticsara and @/bringcolourtomyskies started one, and I'm so so so into it, because I really love learning about them.

Another reason I started this, is because it's the first time I have total control over the things people learn about me. No misinterpretations, no preconceived thoughts, no memories from years ago to hold on to and compare to who I am now. I can be embarrassing as hell, or share the weirdest thoughts or notions, and there's no big shock to anyone, because you didn't imagine something else of me beforehand.

I realized that a couple of weeks ago, actually. Recently, while I was at school, eating cheez-its (my weakness) a good portion of my tooth came off. Pretty much half of it, actually (don't worry, it didn't hurt at all, since the truth is dead).

And okay, I should probably clarify: when I was younger, I had literally the worst dental hygiene ever. I sucked at brushing my teeth, and had cavities almost every time I went to dentist, up until I was about nine. Anyways, the last time I ever had a cavity, it happened to be way worse than the average cavity.

Basically, I was the dumbshit nine year-old that had a root canal. Sue me.

(I've literally never said that out loud. The only ones that know about that are my parents, and now whoever reads this.)

Anyways, I remember after getting the root canal done, that at around thirteen/fourteen, they'd probably have to replace it, and then put a permanent crown on when I'm seventeen/eighteen. However, due to my braces (which I recently got off), they fucked the tooth up, which is why it broke because of a fucking cracker. I get a crown on tomorrow, and then I'll probably have to go back so,strike in my twenties, since I real,y am too young to have a legit crown in my mouth.

Anyways, no one, not a single one of my IRL friends (more on them later) ever knew. They never suspected, and I never hinted at it, except for when I told them that I had a "bad cavity" when I was younger. After all, who would ever suspect someone like me to have had a goddamn root canal when I was nine?

To this day, it's one of my top five biggest secrets, which are the following:

1. The root canal.
2. The fact that I'm demi.
3. I once clogged my best friend's toilet with a pad during her masquerade birthday party, because I was a fucking dumbass and accidentally dropped the pad in there, and flushed, hoping I could get away with it without having to fish it out (it didn't. Coincidentally, it was also her only toilet, and I had to pee really bad, so I left the party early whoops)(she never knew it was me).
4. The fact that I'm in the Troyler fandom, and have tons of friends in it.
5. The fact that I write gay fanfiction.

See, anyone who paid attention knew three of those. But no one IRL knows about any of gem, except for the root canal one for my parents. But because I dug myself in so deep with the secrets, harboring them all for so long, the idea of ever confessing them to someone IRL is insane. They'd all be shocked if they knew I wasn't straight, wrote fanfiction frequently, had a root canal, you name it.

But I don't have that problem here. You already know most of that, and now I'm an open book. Truly, you don't know much about me, other than that I'm fucking trash and really really like Troyler (more on that later too).

I'm just a silhouette, if you will. You have a vague idea, but only have the details I've typed out. I'm hardly fleshed out, really.

So, I'm going to paint in the details. One by one, however I see fit, and whichever ones come to mind first. Think of it as me creating myself, and showing the finalized piece to you when it's finished.

Okay, that's all. I didn't tell anyone I was going to do this, so we'll see how long this takes to get around (not that I expect more than the people I talk to frequently to actually read this).

Yours Truly,

A Random Acquaintance