Dear Journal

Entry #1

September 14th, 2014

Dear Journal,

Seeing how I hate the word diary I'll choose to use journal instead. Well, I fucked up, once again. Agh.. I wonder if I'll stay the same forever. Just this jackass that can't keep his fucking mouth shut. Damn. I shouldn't be angry at the world. I should be angry at myself which I am. I already know I have anger issues, and is bipolar at times. Got damn but it's not just me. I'm blaming my fucking genetics for this one.

Can't believe I stepped on a baby's hand today. It wasn't my fault though. The kid should of saw my big ass feet coming their way. Ugh.. I'm so pissed even though I don't know why. It feels better to write down my emotions and inner thoughts though. I can't deny that.

I plan on heading to therapy. Well, me and my friend Riley. We seem to be in the same boat so.. We'll be attending together.

My life is such a mess.. I fucked up so badly. Every day I think "How could I be so stupid." or "Why did this happen?" "How could it be better?" "Can't I just control myself?"

But it seems like those thoughts don't change anything because it seems like I'm still the same old Alex Mcgrav. Although I met this one girl. She's annoying but she gives me little motivation. Agh. A mistake is what I am. Eh, I don't mind being one though. I've already accepted it. Well.. I don't know what to say.

My shoulder actually hurts, and my butt itches. I gotta shower. I haven't showered in two days. I stink and smell like butter. Why the hell do I smell like butter? Oh well. Until next time Journal..