Dear Journal

Entry #2

September 24, 2014

Therapy was a pain in the backbone. These people are dumb as fuucck. I mean, I expressed my feelings and what did they do? They thought sending me away to a mental institute was a good "choice"

Bitch please. I'll kill myself before go to a mental institute. I'm not interested in being strapped down to a bed for hours or electrocuted the fuck out of till I foam out of my mouth. No.

Yeah, no one can truly understand me. The closet one in doing so is Riley. And he's a dumbass most of the time. I'm listening to more relaxing instrumental music lately. It's very interesting and I just feel.. More calm than I've ever felt.

I'm spending more time on Wattpad lately. And Youtube. I'm even stalking people's facebook. I'm having fun bugging the shit out of people. But if I were to be truly honest.

The only reason why I'm such a bother, and so eager to mess with people is because I'm lonely on the inside. Even though I do have my parents, Riley, and a few other friends, it's like no one looks at me how I want them too. So I'm left to fight for attention. Haha I'm an attention whore you can say!

There's this one guy/girl who's defiantly fun to mess with though. He/She is very.. I want to say cute but not appearance wise. Mentally she/he is cute. Although I hate him/her most of the time haha.

Riley keeps giving me random hugs of love and says "You can cry." and I just stare at him like "What the fuck are you on?" but.. Most of the time I do want to cry. But crying won't solve anything and it's just another weakness people can take advantage of.

I've noticed that I tend to numb myself with social media or exercising. Oh, I gained a pound by the way. Probably all that junk I ate. Honey buns, Vanilla Ice Cream, Chips.. Damn you food creators! I'm still very fit though so I'm not even stressed.