Hi guys!
im really sorry for the late update, i have really been struggling lately...
We had to put our dog down after he bit off my little brother's big toe, and i just found out i am being shipped to afghanistan to fight the war in three days. Also i apologize for any mistakes, english isnt my natural language and i had to amputate both of my hands yesterday after an inchident with an elephant, so i mostly use my nose to write. But im kinda sick too, so i have to take breaks to sneeze all the time, which is another reason i am so late with writing this prompt.
anyway, this is based off the request from @user15254783027: "hi i loved the smut oneshot with Una, Thomas and Shrek. Could you please make one where The three muskiteers (Una, Thomas and Sofie) are spies? thank you!"
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I could see Una shiver from the cold at the front of the group as we walked along the outside wall of the brick building. In front of me, Thomas was walking with his bazooka strapped to his back along with the rest of his military equipment.
Our steps in the dark of night were completely silent except for mine, as i couldn't help but let out a tiny fart at each step i took.
Really should not have chugged that milk earlier...
As we neared the corner of the building and Una signalized for us to stop, Thomas leaned closer to Una to silently smack her arse so that the cocaine-mafia-princesses's guards would not hear. I used the opportunity to let out a longer, but silent fart as the two in front of me were distracted.
After getting herself together, Una peeked around the corner of the building. Turning back to us to signalize that there were currently three guards stationed at the entrance of the hideout. I was about to pull out the nuclear bomb from my back pocket, but Thomas held out a hand to stop me.
"Dont worry poopie-face, i got this" he whispered to me while folding up his sleeves and then sent Una a wink as he walked past her and around the corner.
Me and Una peeked around said corner so we could see for ourselves. Just then, the guard in the middle spotted a homeless guy lying beside him and picked him up, and then threw him at Thomas with such force his head exploded.
I rolled my eyes as i plucked off a part of Thomas's brain that landed on my cheek before i burped Una in her face out of disappointment. She let out a grunt as she pulled out her machine gun from her sock and fired it randomly in the guards direction as she ran over to another wall, perfectly hitting the guard that killed Thomas trough the head.
I ran after her as I threw the nuclear bomb at the remaining two guards, but i tripped and hit my nose so hard into the concrete that it broke off and stabbed trough my brain, effectively killing me.
Una huffed in disapointment as she walked away in slowmotion just as the nuclear bomb went off in the background.
(Una died too)
The End
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idk i might do a epilouge with the homeless man's POV after my boyfriend's funeral tomorrow
