The tractor isn't going that fast, so I look behind me. Well, at least they'll have new places to grow stuff, right? I turn around quickly. I'm kinda starting to panic now. I'm about to cross the highway and I can't really stop!
"Look out!!!" I yell from my small stature below the steering wheel.
Fr. Douglas turned to look at me. Guess I'll have to explain when I have more time.
"It's Tim from the farm across the road! Gracious, where are the boy's parents?" One of the others said.
Wait, others? Everyone is wearing black... And there's a big car in the front. No time to dwell on the thought! I'm about to get in so much trouble.
The tractor keeps going, and in order to see, I have to stand on the pedal. Still hoping that isn't important. The tractor rushes forward onto the road. Several people along the route try to get me off the tractor, but they ended up pushing me into the priest's car. He didn't even need it anyway, right. At least it's just a little dent. Well probably a big dent, but who can really say?
It keeps going on and on. I see a grocery store ahead. Since the steering mechanism is so large I end up coasting by the Walmart store front, and accidentally snagging a perennial and a bag of chips.
"I'll pay for it later!" I shout over my shoulder.
Do I hear sirens? Hm, must be a busy day in town...
There's the train depot. I must be a ways from my home farm. I steer around the raised platform. But I do manage to pull up part of the track. I'm really proud of today's accomplishments! I experienced whole new frontiers. And may I just say those sirens are getting really loud, and really annoying.
Um, is that a ditch over there? Ahhhhhh! I fall into the brown clay soil, face first. Oh thank heavens, those sirens finally stopped!
"I've been watching you."
I gulp. Oh, realization hits me. Those sirens were for me!
"Well, at least the tractor stopped," I told the man in the blue uniform.
"Yes it did, but not before you had an epic redneck failure. Oh, and we need to talk about those chips..."
*** Thank you for reading this short story! I had fun writing this. Please comment, vote, and check out my other stories!!! ***
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EPIC Redneck Failure
HumorA boy. A six year old farm boy. His daddy's tractor. A beautiful, perfectly oiled and painted John Deere tractor. How much trouble can a little boy and a tractor get into in just one afternoon? Well, it'll all result in one, big, epic, redneck, FAIL...
