Feelings I Shouldn't Have

Chapter 1- Make it Believable

Tweeks POV:

I woke up to my alarm clock scaring the shit out of me.

 "GAAAH!!" 

I jump from my previous laying down position. As I turn my alarm clock off, I slide off my bed, changing and leaving my house without a word to my parents. I'm pissed at them right now. As I wait for the bus, I run into Clyde. 

"Hey dude, how're you doing?"

I don't talk to Clyde often but we don't have any issues as of right now, so I guess it was nice to speak with him for once.

"I'm fine I guess"

We sat in silence until the bus finally arrived. Once I got on, I overheard that fat bitch, Cartman say,

"CRAIGG!!! YOU'RE BOYFRIENDS HERE!"

I scoffed, knowing he was referring to me.

"Leave them alone, fatass" Kyle defended

"AYE, DON'T CALL ME A FATASS YOU FUCKIN' JEW!!"

I sighed. Things haven't changed between Eric and Kyle since preschool. The dedication of these two I swear. I slowly approached Craig.

"Hey, Tweek"

Craig patted the seat next to him invitingly, with the same neutral face he always had. I smiled. Something about how calm Craig always was always drew me in, ever since I could remember. Maybe it's jealousy? Admiration? I don't know. Though I have always been very shaky and constantly twitching, that feeling slightly faded when I was around Craig. Maybe because of how safe he made me feel?

"Hi Craig"

I said as I sat down next to him. As we approached the school, everyone got off the bus and into the building. Me and Craig walked in together as per usual.

"So, how are you feeling, Tweek? Is that fidget spinner helping?"

I looked up at him. If I was being honest, the fidget spinner does not help that much. I didn't want to hurt Craig though. He gave it to me as a gift, I don't want to speak negatively of it.

"Yeah, a bit"

I lie, twitching again. We kept walking until we reached the building. Once we got into the building, me and Craig talked near our lockers. The more I looked at him, the more my feelings for him grew. I know I sound so corny right now, but he's just so..perfect? My glance moved from his hair, to his eyes, to his mouth..

"TWEEK!!"

Craig snapped me back into reality. Turns out I zoned out for so long, I missed half of the conversation.

"GAAH!!! sorry Craig!! I..guess I just zoned out."

"It's okay, happens to all of us. But what do you think..about the whole yknow, dating thing?"

I gasp. For a second, I forgot about our whole "fake dating" situation so it caught me wayyy off guard.

"What about it?"

"Do you think people are buying it? Or should we take it further to keep them happy?"

"Well I...I mean we could but.. further how?"

"Like hugging..kissing even? Just for the act of course. Since we're not actually gay."

He let out a light laugh. I blushed in response. Me?? Kiss Craig? Just the thought of it made me blush. I quickly frowned at the last statement though. "we're not actually gay." I wish I could tell him. It really hurts not being able to express my feelings for him. I agreed however.

"Yeah..sure. When should we start?"

"How about a kiss on the cheek during lunch today?"

TODAY??? There's no way I would be ready for any of that today! The day did just start though..and we do have a few hours before lunch anyway...

"O..okay.."

I hesitated.

"Alright. I just want to keep everyone happy. The last thing we need is everyone hating me again and making fan art of us breaking up all over again."

I nod. However, the whole day, all I could think of was kissing him. What if he realized my real feelings for him? I prayed the day would go by slow, but unfortunately for me, it didn't. Before I knew it, it was time for lunch. I walked to the lunch room and saw Craig.

"Okay Tweek. While we're talking with the guys, I'm going to reach out for my burger. Once I grab it, that's your cue to kiss me. Just a peck on the cheek. Got it?"

I gulp, looking down so that my blush wasn't visible.

"ack- that's a lot of..pressure.. I don't wanna mess up. I'll try though."

Craig smiled in response and patted my back.

"It's okay, Tweek, I believe in you."

As we approached the lunchroom, i felt and heard my heartbeat growing louder in my chest. Once we sat down, we spoke with our friends for a few minutes. My eyes focused on Craig's hands, waiting for him to grab the burger anxiously. My heart almost stopped when I saw him about to grab it. I panicked as he looked at me, waiting. My breathing became faster. I couldn't do it. I quickly stood up.

"I'm gonna- go to the bathroom"

With that, I ran in the direction of the bathroom, without looking back. I was not ready.