Love, y/n

Chapter Three

I sit by his bed until the sunlight comes through the window. Holding his hand.

As he wakes up, he looks over to me "Good morning, doll"

"I love you, James Buchanan Barnes" I blurt out, then immediately after, "How are you Buck? Can I get you anything?"

"Other than you?" he asks with a smirk

I couldn't find it in me to joke around right now, I look down in shame with tears starting to roll down my cheeks, "I'm so sorry, Bucky"

"I already forgave you, love. I always will" he says, softly smiling at me

But I just couldn't accept it, I hurt him "I don't deserve it. I don't know what happened. I wasn't in control."

Bucky lifts his hand to cup my cheek, "Whatever it is, we will figure it out. You, and me"

"Thank you for not giving up on me, Buck" I said, I truly meant every word of it too. I will never be able to forgive myself for what I has done to him, yet he could forgive me.. He truly has and never will give up on me.

"How could I?" he asked, pulling me in for a kiss, "You don't give up on someone you love"

A little later, a meeting is called.

As we all gather in the room, "What now?" I ask

Steve was the first to speak "You almost killed Bucky, we can't just let it go"

I looks down at my shoes, feeling truly guilty for what had happened, "I know, Steve. I'm so sorry"

"I'm afraid sorry doesn't solve anything" Thor said, crossing his arms

"We think Hydra has done something with your mind, and we don't know how to fix it" Tony jumped in, taking more of a calmer approach compared to Steve and Thor

"You could kill us all" an anxiety ridden Wanda tells me as Bucky walks into the room, clutching the stitches in his side

"What the hell are you guys saying! You didn't give up on me." he questions, upset

"They are right Buck. I can't put anyone else in danger. Especially you" I give him a tear filled smile. It was hurting me to my core to do this.

I take a step onto the balcony.

I smile one last time at everybody, before putting one leg over the railing.

"I know what you are thinking. Don't. Please don't! We can fix this!" Bucky said, eyes about to over flow with tears "I won't let you do this"

He reaches out for me, "I love you, my soldier" I smile at him, crying "This is the only way I can keep you safe."

"Please don't do this" he begs

I give him a sad smile, with tears in my eyes. I jump.

Bucky's P.O.V.

As soon as her feet left the ground on the balcony, I had jumped with her. Only I had used my arm to hold onto the railing that bent down as I fell with her. The railing was to short to get me next to her, I grab her hand. We are free falling or a moment until I can grab onto another railing from another balcony. Thank God Stark is so damn rich.

Y/n's P.O.V.

Once Bucky places me on the ground, I just sob. It's all I can do.

"It's okay, doll. It's okay" he hugs me

I continue to just hold onto him, my tears making his shirt wet.

All the sudden everyone is down here and Bucky starts yelling at me "Never fucking do that to me again"

Wanda comes over "Why would you do that! We love you, please don't ever do that again!"

"You are our family" Nat cries

"Let us help you" Steve tries to be calmer

Finally, Tony walks in "We will have someone watch you until we figure this all out"

"Okay" I said simply. It's all I could say, they are right, we are family and we will figure this all out.

"It will all be okay, Y/n" Peter joins the group, tear filled eyes. I hate that I am the cause for all of these tears, from the people I love.

Everyone crowds around in a circle for a group hug. I stand up and wipe my tears, "Whatever you guys think is best" I tell them

Bucky holds his hand out, "Come with me, doll"

I follow him to his room, and I am locked in.

One day, I am sitting locked in and Bucky comes in from training

"How did it go?" I ask

He looks mad "How does it look?" he asks "Do you need anything?"

"I need to get out of here! I'm going crazy!"

He walks over and picks up a bottle "Buck what are you doing!"

"What does it look like?" He asks taking a big gulp of it

"Stop it!" I tell him

He smirks "Why don't you make me, doll" he steps closer "I think I know a way to make us both feel better"

"Distract me then"

He pushes me up against the wall and presses up behind me.

"Are you going to be good for me?" He whispers in my ear

I gasp, "Yes"

"Good girl" he kisses down my neck

later, we are laying down, and I ask "So what was that all about, why were you so upset?"

"I need to tell you something, love" He looks down at me

My voice begins to shake "What is it?"

"I'm going to go away for a while"

"Wait! Why?" I ask, starting to feel the panic building in my chest

"I am going to visit the people who healed me to see if they can help you. Steve is going with me"

"What am I going to do?"

"You are going to stay here, train, heal. You will be with Tony and the girls" he pulls me into his lap, "And you are going to be my amazing girl, like you always are. And you will never be alone"

"I'm going to miss you" I say kissing him

"I am too, doll. I love you so so much" he hugs me tightly