I'll Be There For You || Spirat Fanfiction

Chapter 1

(poetry by riptide_the_lesbian on discord)
I look at you from afar
And I can't help it
I feel a rage boiling up inside
From the stench you emit

Then one day on a day just like the rest
You find me, but not in a good way
And I wish, just once
For the end of the day

I can see
By the way you look at me
You know...
Sometimes I wish you would flee

I look in your eyes
And I physically can't hide
How you make me feel
I want to make you my bride

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Then, suddenly, they shot up.

The dream - more nightmare, really - replayed in their brain while they tried to grasp the reality of it, but it wasn’t really clear in their head what had happened and hadn’t - then all the memories they had tried so hard to push back.

What followed was the tears, and then the familiar lump in their throat, and then the hyperventilating - the panic setting in when they realized they couldn’t breathe. Maybe distracting themselves would work, going out, listening to music - anything at all. Their cabinmates didn’t seem to be awake so they quietly got up, grabbing their headphones and phone. Then quickly putting on their shoes, blinking against the tears, if only this stupid panic attack would stop - getting up, grabbing a cardigan, walking out of the cabin for some fresh air, while their head couldn’t stop racing because what if it was their fault and their parents were right and they were antisocial and they messed up and no one liked them and- 

They physically gasped as if even their head was now running out of hair, still hyperventilating. Why wouldn’t it work?
They left their cabin, walking further unto the camping grounds. Trying to wipe their tears off of their face with their sleeve but it didn’t help much. 

It was then they bumped into someone.  

They stumble backwards, managing to keep themselves upright in just a matter of seconds - then looking up to see who they bumped into.

Shit.

They quickly look down again, trying to mask the panic attack and praying that Rat didn't see them crying - they were rivals after all and none of that would have a good outcome, probably.

"Are you alright-?" 

The question made them snap out of their trail of thoughts; Rat seemed to be panicked to talk to them. I just want to go- 

They raised their head again at that, trying to gain control over their breathing to answer, but didn't manage to; then just nodded as a response, clenching their hands into fists as they forced themself to speak.

"I'm fine."

But it didn't quite seem like Rat believed them, immediately firing back. "Clearly not. Look, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to but… Don't outright lie like this."

"Why do you even care?" they suddenly snapped, staring at them.

"It's not like we are friends or anything! Just- leave me alone, and-"

Then, their voice cracked again, and they didn't finish their sentence, raising their arm to their face to wipe their tears away; or at least, to try to.