Peter, Love, and satan

Canadian cucumbers

BOOM! The sky erupted into a fury of flames, as Planes rain bullets, ripping through the sky. 

"WHERE THE HELL IS THIS BASTARD" Yelled a General.

"SIR! We have reasons to suspect that he could be somewhere inside the bomb shelters" Replied  Privet "But we can not look inside them due to being a war crime."

"DAMN IT!" The General yelled with fury. "WE MUST FIND THIS MAN" He yelled with as much spunk someone of his anger could show. 

"SIR YES SIR." The men marched off. 

Fifty yards away, lay a man, crushed in rubble, injured but alive, the mans name is Peter Griffin, or it had been. Years ago he had lost his family. Each one killed more brutally than the last. His ex had done this, Scarlet Rushmore, now known as MT. Rushmore. They had dated in the past when they were young, they had a criminal history together, they used to rob banks. One day, that all changed, Someone had snitched on them, which had caused the police to be ready, and when Scarlet was captured, instead of saving her, Peter ran. Now he is thought by her as a worthless traitor. 

"Oh god, sir are you ok?" a kind hearted woman said as she found peter among the rubble.

"I think so" Peter looked up towards her, she had clean, violet hair, and a very slim body, almost stick like body. "I only his my head." Peter slowly stood up, as he stood, the more his head ached. The lady opened her mouth to speak

"You seem to be injured by more than a head injury, feel your ear!" Peter reached up and touched his ear, It was gone.

"I lost that years ago, in a fight"

"Oh...I'm sorry to hear about that." Come with me, I have a bunker with enough room for you." 

"Why, we only just met under a minute ago, I don't even know your name."

"I don't have a name" she grabs peter's hand and starts walking towards where he assumes her bunker is. "We have to get out of her, I came outside to look for people, come on I already have found a lot of people, Can't you see their army approaching in the distance?" She started to run, so peter had to try to keep up, as they ran he could see the bunker, it was not a  bomb shelter, it was a Cellar, that was made into an improvised shelter. Finally they made it in. "What the hell!" "Where did everyone go?" She looked around the place was trashed.

"Looks like the army got to this place first." Peter said with a undeniable sad look. "I'm sorry, If only I had ran faster, I could hav-"

"It's not your fault. Now calm down, looks like we will be stuck in here for a while. We cant be trapped here and have a bad attitude." 

"I guess so" Peter looked at the lady, their eyes met, Peter leaned in for a kiss.

"What he hell are you doing?"

"You know what."

"I don't think you would want to" Peter ignored her, and their lips met, the girls eyes went wide"

"Don't you know I'm a man?" Person said. This made peter yell.

"Ahh hell no." Peter walked away, as soon as he reached the door, The quickly whipped it open, and ran away. as he ran, he was spotted by a plane. As soon as he noticed it, He ran faster, but the plane would always catch up. 

"RIPPAPAPAPPAPA PAPAPAPAP BABABABPA" The plane was firing at Peter, and like a sumo wrestler, peter fell hard, He had tripped on the tiniest rock he could have. Yet instead of continuing to fire, the plane stopped. Peter sat there for a few minutes, until he got up and started running, But then he heard a voice.

"THERE HE IS, THAT BASTARD IS OVER HERE!"  It was a soldier, in confusion Peter started to head over to that sound. Soldiers came over and grabbed him. In his arms, Peter fell asleep.

"Hey, wake up" "Hey" "HEY" "HEY, WAKE THE HELL UP!!!!" Peter awoke, his sight was blurry. But he could make out who It was

"HOLY SHIT! ITS DOFLAMINGO FROM ONE PIECE!"  

"What the fuck are you talking about?

"YOO I have watched like all of one piece"

"I AM NOT FUCKING DOFLAMINGO, I AM SATAN!!!!!" 

"Oh hi Satan"

"SHUT UP" "Now tell me, are you Peter Griffen?"

"Who do you think I am, Shaquille O'Neal?"

"CUT to a really funny and not annoying cutaway gag"

"Good, Now tell me, do you know who Mt Rushmore is?"

"Of course, I do"

"Good" "after I kill you Mt Rushmore will be pleased with me."

"WHAT, YOU CANT DO THAT" 

"Watch me"

"NUH UH"

BOOM, Peter easy beat over Satan by just saying NUH UH.

"Now time to go seal away my EX!