TIME TEACHES TO LAUGH

FED UP WITH BEING NORMAL

I used to collect a book from my library every alternate day. I was addicted to reading and this habit of mine became popular among my classmates and teacher. I still remember the boys who wanted books from me. I remember them because they were few. I did not mention girls here because there were too many girls who wanted a book from me. I liked the boys who were interested in reading. As I said, they were rare.

If I had found a handsome boy with the habit of reading back then, I would have developed a crush on him. My ideal boy at that time was a boy with a book in his hand. I would have fallen for him if he had handed over the book I was craving to read. I would have loved him throughout if he had new stories to share with me every time we met. Well, that type of boy is purely fictional.

We had handsome guys in the campus, very few. But they were either lazy or bad-mannered. And the boys who loved books were not handsome or belonged to another category I hated. So, I decided to stay single. Even at twenty-three, I am single. Lol, I am waiting for my Mr. Right!

Those days, I was a qualified authority in books. Many people wanted to be my friend for the knowledge regarding newly released books or for the sake of getting interesting suggestions. I also loved that, being noticed by everyone for something special. One day, my librarian stopped me from getting books. I enquired about the reason, and he said I was reading too much. He even asked me about my marks and to his surprise, my marks were good. He asked me about my time management and all. I even became friends with him. And he warned me again that the books in that row were not meant for kids. I said I have read all the other books from this author, and I wanted to try this. 'Principal asked me to hand over adult novels to higher secondary students only,' he said. I begged him and it took a few minutes to convince him. I promised him that I will return the book within two days, and he was okay with that.

That day, I showed off my book to my classmates and many were like 'Oh wow, how did you manage to get this?' I told them that it was all a matter of luck. Many of them asked me to show the book. They wanted to go through it. And some even wanted to read it. Those days, I rarely purchased books. My parents were not willing to buy books. They did; one or two, monthly. That is all. But for someone like me who used to finish a book within forty-eight hours, I needed at least fifteen for a month. And the only solution was to borrow from the library or readers' circle.

That evening I went back home and started reading right away. It was a story of a common girl whose life was only normal. She was fed up with normal life. She had no issues. But the thing is, her life was so normal without much excitement and happiness. She decided to commit suicide because she felt like there was nothing interesting left in her life. That actually broke my heart. I could relate to her feelings so well. Because that was my life – so simple and normal without any excitements and surprises.

I have felt fed up with these normal things many times. The only way to travel to a fantasy world was through fiction. On reading that, I actually thought that it was so true. Living in this world without having anything good to do was indeed a boring thing.

Our female lead ended up in a mental hospital and her life started becoming exciting. Things changed, meeting new people, and even found love there. That was a story. I knew real life cannot be that simple. Many times, I have thought about it, simply sitting inside my room. I have told myself that it would have been great if my life was a bit more joyful. It would have been great if I were born in a different place in a different situation.

Being born ordinary and forced to live a normal life appeared tiresome sometimes. Though money, tickets etc. were mere materialistic things, they can also bring us happiness. It is true that money cannot buy you happiness. But the thing is, sometimes happiness can be bought by spending money.

Movie tickets, clean clothes, and tasty food are all simple things. But these things need money. To me, they are all a kind of happiness. Traveling to various places is indeed a happy thing. But that too needs money. I actually never dared to ask my parents for money to spend lavishly. They gave me for my necessities and that is all. I never asked more for leisure, and I knew they would not allow me to simply spend. All I could do was sit inside and read. I have traveled to many places, sitting inside my room. Even when I wanted to go somewhere with my friends, my parents would not allow me. They were afraid for my safety. I can totally understand that. But sometimes over-protection from our dear ones is a burden too. I kept it myself that I wanted to go out with my friends and have fun at times. They interpreted my silence as me being a well-educated and disciplined girl who just wanted to read and read. That was sad.

So, my point is, after reading a book and getting immersed in the female lead character who is bored with her normal life, I could relate to it so well. But I knew that even if I chose to commit suicide just like in that story, I would have ended up getting nothing. I was a practical and present-minded person. I think my reading habits have made me more mature and I acted out of age. If someone else of my age was reading that book at that time, they would definitely go for committing suicide. We have to be mature always. That librarian should have told me strongly that no matter what, I will not give this book to you. No, I am not trying to put the blame on him. But he really should have done that. I should have listened to him when he said no in the first place. I wanted that and felt so relatable.

Thank God, I did not end up following the female lead in there. At times, we will feel so relatable with a fictional character. To many of us, life is normal, unless we are born with a silver spoon. So, it is okay if everything in your life is normal. It is okay if all you do is wake up, eat food, attend classes, go back, and sleep. That is the case for many of us. It is okay if nobody gives you a surprise, wishes you a good day and proposes to you. That is dramatic. That is impossible in real life.

I always motivate myself by saying that I should be grateful that I am not facing any hardships in life. People without a home, shelter, or a meal are out there in this world. People without proper vision and abilities are here. If we are strong enough to welcome a new day without many difficulties, the world is fair enough. Extra happiness and fun are all everything we need. And it becomes impossible sometimes. Give yourself some time to calm down. Have fun whenever there is a way. Do not take fictional things very seriously. Even if you find someone so relatable you should not follow her actions because every individual is unique, and your story might not end as exciting as her story.

If you decide to give up your life just because someone else did so, you are being too stupid. Stay focused to identify the differences between real things and reel things. I always got attached to fictional things. But I was strong enough to say no to actions that needed a no. This female lead actually made me realize that my life had nothing exciting, and it was simply simple. But still, I had things to do every day and I was okay with that normal life. There were times I became sad that my life had zero excitement. But then, I asked myself to calm down and take a break. A break from demotivated thoughts actually made me reroute to the positivity of life. Sometimes all you need is a change of book, to reroute from thoughts.

 Life is exciting as long as you are ready to survive!