TIME TEACHES TO LAUGH

MISSION FULL A1

During my tenth standard, I got extra pieces of advice almost every morning. Be with good friends, do not simply waste time, stop watching television, stop spending nights on books, wake up early, revise lessons weekly, concentrate more on studies, less co-curricular activities...and the list was unending. My parents wanted me to score A1 in all subjects and they reminded me regularly. It was not an arduous task for me as my marks were quite okay. I thought I will easily crack the task they assigned to me.

Classes started and I became closer with the friends I usually go to school with. There were a few of my neighbors from my batch and we all were so close. We had million petty things to talk about on the way and way back home. We all belonged to different divisions, and we shared the happy stories of each class during the time we walked together. It was really fun. We got news of every class and that was a kind of happiness.

Day by day our bond became stronger, and we had more things to talk about. We started getting out of the house a little earlier and came back home a little late. We round together somewhere and finish all the stories in one go. People started noticing that and they reported it to my parents. My father usually gets angry over things others say. He got angry over this and started scolding me. He said I was simply wasting time and he even said that good girls will not stand and talk loudly on the road. That is what boys do. He had a misconception about good girls. I said nothing. I just agreed that I will walk straight home from now on. But I still did like that, and my parents got angrier day by day.

One day we noticed that a few boys started crowding opposite us. They were making fun of us and laughing aloud. We just ignored them. But people again started noticing this and all they said was, it was us misleading them. That day I realized that our society is a bitch. I got warnings from my parents, but I was like 'who cares' and I kept on doing things in my own way.

Later, we got followed by some strange guys and even few of them confessed their love. It was all their game and we just played along. Literally, having someone notice us was not that bad either. We had absolute fun during these few minutes of walking. But complications were increasing as people were telling my parents to take track of my activities. They reminded me of the board exam every now and then and I just nodded every time.

People started creating social media accounts and I too became interested. I created one for myself. Someone else did too. I got plenty of friend requests, chat requests, and all. Chatting with schoolmates and posting our moments of happiness actually made us feel like this was something exciting. Everyone stood up in the reel world and many people became closer than they really were. Texts from strangers were flooding and I ignored them. It was already tough to handle all the acquaintances. Not to mention the strangers then. Half of the time for studying was spent on social media and the other half, I somehow divided between studying and other purposes.

Soon, the formative assessments rushed in. I was not prepared at all. I could not even read all the pages before the exam. I actually had the plan to revise the lessons at least thrice before the exam. In the end, plans always remain as plans and they always did. I disappointed my parents by scoring exceptionally low marks and somehow, I ended up with the craziest gang. Even then, my life was absolutely fun. Pressure at home never bothered my happy school days at all. I gave less importance to my studies and just continued having fun.

One day I even got caught reading a book during class time and that scared me. My teacher made this issue so big and wanted my parents at school. I had no idea how to tell my mom. I did not even think of sharing this news with my father because I knew, what his reaction would be like. I told my mom to visit my teacher and I promised that I will never repeat this action. She told me that I took the board exam so silly and that is why I dared to read in the classroom. I had no idea how I dared to do that. Somehow, I dared and that is how I ended up in a mess. The book I read was not that neat according to my teacher and that again created trouble. I agree that it was romantic fiction, but I guarantee, nothing in that book was dirty for a fifteen-year-old girl. Because that book was all about little love and more friendship. I had no idea, why everyone was accusing me as if I did something big. That was a mistake, in a world where people do not dare to do anything. I totally accept that. But it was just a mistake that could have been forgiven so easily. But they dragged the case and made it all a mess. No, I am not trying to blame them. I started the mess. I admit that. But still, it was not that big of a case. Somehow, the trouble took another level, and I became famous.

Board exams became closer and then only I started realizing that I have no idea about the chapters to be finished. I started somewhere but I ended up learning nothing. Life was all becoming a mess and I became clueless. All I heard was teachers and parents telling me that the board exam decides your life and you have to put your all efforts into it. That actually scared me. I told my parents that I would score A1 for all subjects, and I was not even sure if I could pass everything with the knowledge I had by that time. I tried to calm myself. But nothing worked as the countdown started. I gave myself fully to God and started praying to shower miracles upon me. Even after doing not much great in exams, I still prayed for wonders.

Whenever my parents talked about the results and all, I wanted to correct them as I was sure that I would disappoint them. But I never dared to correct them. I knew that I had the potential to score their dream marks but somehow, I ended up being lazy and I got diverted with little funs in life. I know I was wrong, but I never wanted to score A1 for all subjects and I never wanted to show off. I felt sad that I disappointed them. In actual fact, I was not sad at all for not doing great in exams. I wanted to cheer them up. But they were heartbroken on the day my results were out. I was not that sad as I just lost A1 for two subjects. That was good enough for me. But my parents were shocked, and I had no idea what made them so sad to the extent of talking about it for many days and not even distributing sweets to neighbors and all. I was happy but their depression demotivated me. I sat in my room like I failed for a subject. Literally, what the hell!

It took a few days to overcome this situation. After a few days, my mom was like 'this is all fate, don't be sad' and I was like 'what nonsense, who is actually the sad one here!?' That incident made me realize so many harsh realities. Parents just expect and kids should make it happen. What a beautiful thing, sarcastically! I felt so demotivated that I disappointed the people who believed in me. I should not have made them confident when I did not even believe in myself. My mistake. But I had no way to correct that. I remembered all the crazy nights I went insane in preparation for my exam. I remembered all the times I scored top marks. I was thinking... I studied so hard during my lower classes. I struggled to become a top scorer, and, in the end, I ended up disappointed. What was the use of my hardships? Why did I become lazy this year only? I asked myself so many questions and I became sadder only.

I became confused about life. If I had no plan to study for my board exam, I should have just enjoyed it during my lower classes too. I simply pushed myself to learn and score top, to end up as a failure in the end. A pass mark during lower classes was more than enough. Nothing else matters, no marks in other classes matter if you score low on your board exam and nothing becomes more important. I felt like the board exam was life and I have failed in life. Later only I realized that the board exam was just a piece of shit, and more craps were waiting for me in life. I will not say that exams are nothing. Exams are something. Exams are not everything either. No issues, as long as you are able to pass it. No issues, even if you are not able to pass it in one go. Try hard. If your wish is to be the top scorer, just go for it. But if you are simply struggling because someone else is waiting to show off your score, just step back. This is life, not a joke.

Looking back on how others treated me when I failed in 'Mission full A1' I felt sad. I was just fifteen then. It is normal. If I had no guts to face them or if I had lost control for a minute, I would have just done something crazy, like this era's stupid teenager. No, I am not speaking about the smart people here. I am just pointing out the minority who chooses to end up life, just because someone made it harder for them. I was indeed a smart kid. I had the guts to face them, and I had the confidence to move forward. What I am saying is, sometimes everyone in this world will become stupid. But if you are confident to stand on your side, nothing matters. Be brave to admit defeat and be brave to take fault if you have done something. Mistakes happen, we are all humans. Do not feel bad, as long as you have not committed a crime. Failure is nothing, it is just the beginning.

One day when you become successful, just brag about all your failures. That's it. Be strong and push yourself forward. Be bold and believe in yourself. At times, you should do everything for yourself. It does not matter. People will not acknowledge you until you do not need their acknowledgment.

Be there for you. I have become a strong student after all these silly incidents in life. Well, these incidents were not silly when they first occurred. It is just like how 'ABCD' is easy for an adult and how difficult it is for kids. Problems in life are all jokes after years and time teach us to laugh at them proudly. These made us stronger, and we have reached somewhere just because we traveled all these wrong paths once.

Pressuring yourself is not a solution at all!