Lacking Faith (One Shot)

Lacking Faith

I've never fully understood love. I say I do, but I really don't. The only experiences I've had were watching sappy romance movies and unintentionally encountering my friends and relatives when they were brokenhearted. Not to mention those ephemeral relationships with middle school boys, everyone should've known better and that those wouldn't and most certainly didn't last. We were always so caught up in the midst of our feelings that we'd forget to think things through. It was our loss, I guess.

I tend to ponder this subject a bit too much: Love. It makes me wonder, especially how people can easily let themselves fall just to get hurt over and over again. How do you know when that person is right for you? What happens if you mess things up? Why can't things be as easy as they are in books and movies? When do you really fall in love?

All these questions consume my brain as I pretend to listen to the teacher say enthusiastically, "Now, take out your textbooks and open to page 102." I take out my textbook and open it to the page he said. I just stare at the page and pretend to read. He asks the students to answer questions from the activities inside it. I really hope I don't get chosen to answer a question, I'm too busy pondering and musing. I remember once my friend, Kelly obviously had all her attention directed toward Trevor and the teacher called on her. She had unintentionally said something about how "perfect" Trevor was. It was her fault she didn't pay attention to what she was saying. The whole class had bursted out into laughter, including Trevor, as she slowly sank back into her seat. It wasn't that funny if you ask me.

~

I sit down at my lunch table that's right next to the window outside. Jillian is sick and Kelly would much rather be seen with other people so I sit alone. I don't really mind, it gives me more time to ponder about love. I feel kind of stupid for being on this topic for so long, but it really has baffled me ever since this morning. Everyone's story is different in some way so it makes me wonder how mine will be, if I have one that is. I yawn and extend my arms up above my head, stretching them as far as I can.

I hear a chuckle from behind me. I pause and turn around, there's some boy standing there. He's from one of my classes, I think. He says to me, "You looked like a cat when you stretched."

"Cool." I say coldly and turn back and eat my food.

"Hey do you mind if I sit with you?" He asks with a hint of laughter in his voice. What the hell does this bastard think I am? Stupid?

"What do you want?" I ask without turning around, "And don't sugarcoat it, tell me why you're really here."

He sighs as he sits next to me and says in a cheerful, happy tone, "I was dared to sit here with you." He smiles at me.

"Why are you smiling about this?" I ask him.

"Because, I don't know, I can never keep a straight face while doing a dare." He says and laughs, "What about you? Are you ever able to do dares with a straight face?"

"Dares are stupid." I say and take a bite out of my sandwich.

"But they give you adrenaline, and it's always good to take risks!" He says.

"Taking risks has killed many people," I say, "No thank you, I'd rather sit here and think alone by myself."

"That's a little lonely." He says with a frown, "What do you think about?"

I feel my face start to heat up, "None of your business!" I shout.

"Something personal, I presume." He says with wide eyes, "Well, no need to fear! I am the world's best secret keeper!"

"Why the hell would I tell you anything after I just met you?" I say and roll my eyes. I glance over at him, he is looking right at me with full attention, "Anyways," I look back at my food, "Shouldn't you get going back to whomever made you do this stupid dare?"