My Savage Love for You

A Fluid Sea of Perpetual Darkness

Penn

I was sitting in the waiting room with Sierra, anxiously anticipating news about Jason from a doctor.

"Gosh, I'm so worried about him!" Sierra said in a hushed tone.

I ignored Sierra's comment as I was too deep into thought to notice she was speaking. "Why did he faint? Was it a heat stroke? Does he have a health issue?" I wondered to myself.

I replayed the moment when I bumped into Jason yesterday. I thought about how dreamy Jason's eyes were and the way they made me feel when I was looking into them. The beauty of his dark eyes reminded me of the ocean at night– the cool breeze rocking the water back and forth, disturbing the reflection of the moonlight with every wave. It was almost as if I was being hugged by someone I loved. I felt safe when I looked into Jason's eyes. I realized I was so glad to have met him. My mind wandered to what happened earlier today when I met Jason at the pool. The way his abs glistened in the sunlight when he took his shirt off and how his dark skin glowed from the reflection of the pool when we were sitting and talking.

After waiting for what seemed to be the duration of a Harry Potter movie, a nurse walked into the waiting room and approached me and Sierra. "Are you waiting for Jason Derulo?" the nurse asked.

"Yes, we are!" I eagerly exclaimed. My heart was beating quickly in anticipation of what the nurse might say about Jason's condition.

"Jason is going to be just fine," the nurse said happily.

I exhaled deeply in relief. I couldn't help but smile at the thought that Jason was healthy. I realized then, how deeply I cared for Jason.

"Oh! I'm so glad!" Sierra shrieked in my ear.

As I felt my eardrum start to bleed, Sierra and I were invited to see Jason in his room.

"Hey," Jason said in a hoarse voice as Sierra and I walked in, "sorry for the surprise trip to the E.R." He looked paler than usual.

"Well, we're just glad everyone's okay," Sierra said solemnly with a frown. Sierra glanced at her watch and said to me, "I'm sorry, but I have to get going." She turned to Jason and said, "Get well soon!" with a bright smile and left.

I took a seat in the chair next to Jason's bed and leaned forward. I quietly asked, "What happened? Is everything okay?" with my eyebrows furrowed in curiosity.

"Yeah, I just had low blood pressure, but I'm alright now," Jason replied with a small smile.

I looked into Jason's eyes and felt as though I didn't have a choice, but to stare. I felt the world around me fade away as I carefully observed the stars that glimmered in his eyes.

Unexpectedly, a woman's voice behind me announced, "Excuse me, sir. Mr. Derulo needs to rest now. He will be discharged in the morning." She was a nurse carrying a tray of small disposable cups that were likely to be filled with pills.

"Looks like I have to go," I said to Jason while feeling saddened that we had to part so soon. We said goodbye as I rose out of my seat, then left his room.

Later that night, I was sitting on the couch with my dog in my lap. I couldn't help but think about that morning at the pool. He seemed so open and vulnerable with me.

As much as I care about Jason getting better, I also couldn't stop thinking about Sierra. I began to wonder, "How is it that my high school sweetheart from Maryland happens to be at the same place and time as me and has just moved into the same area in California that I live in? Could this be fate?"

I remembered how kind and ecstatic Sierra was when we used to date. I thought of my memories of her that only we had, including our break up. I dug out my old feelings of regret I had towards our separation all of those years ago. I was an idiot back then for not committing to her. The more and more I thought of her, the more I began to realize how much I missed her.