ANIMA

21. Reckless

Mason

“Mason can you hear me?”

“Mase open your eyes.”

I force my eyes open and find a worried looking Aiden and Tomas peering down at me.

They are not in uniform anymore and the natural light seems to have lessen. Just how long have I been here?

I remember being at the café with these two, joking around and then I saw the text.

I felt so blindsided.

Aiden asked me something and the next thing I know I am bolting out of there. I didn’t even go back to school to get my car I just kept walking until I found myself here.

Not that it’s that far, it’s only a 20 minutes’ drive from campus so I probably took twice as much time walking.

I don’t remember those minutes. It felt like one minute I was standing outside the café and the next I am letting myself into the house. I found the leftover alcohol from the last party and started drinking then…blissful nothingness.

“What time is it? What day is it?” I ask.

“Thank god, you scared the hell out of us!” Aiden says.

“It’s still Monday. You missed a whole day of classes and rowing practice must be half-way done by now.” Tomas says.

“Oh…”

I don’t know whether I should be relieved or disappointed that my escape didn’t last long.

I am not worried about class, I will catch up easily. And as for rowing, I have been meaning to quit since the beginning of the semester anyways.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it but getting it off your chest might help. I know talking to you helped me.” Tomas says.

I have tried avoiding it and drinking myself into a blackout, none of it helped. Maybe he is right.

“What ANIMA said is technically true,” I start and notice both of them are trying to not let the shock show on their faces.

I pick a spot on the far wall to focus on, that’s the only way I can get everything out.

“I always knew my parents had many plans for me. Plans I had no part in making. This past summer I found out what those plans actually are. The plan went something like; being first in everything school related, winning the Rutledge Cup with the rowing team, being elected student president, graduating top of the class, get into their top choice, get engaged to Cassie before we go off to college, major in finance or something else business related, graduate top of the class again, go work for my dad, marry Cassie and have the perquisite two point five kids. I wasn’t even 18 yet. I had lost interest in rowing, have no interest in student government, wasn’t sure what I wanted to do in college let alone where and Cassie’s and my relationship had run its course. I kind of lost it.” I say.

“That’s insane!” Tomas says.

“Most high school relationships don’t even last and they are out here making wedding plans? Just look what ended up happening with Cassie.” Aiden says.

“They really like Cassie or more accurately what being connected to her last name can do for them.” I say.

“Unbelievable” Tomas says.

“I never did ask, how did they react when you told them?” Aiden asks.

“I never told them. I thought I would first see how they reacted to me and Cassie not being together anymore. I dropped some hints with mom first but the mere mention of me and Cassie not being a good match had her looking at me like I just announced that I was thinking of joining a cult or something. If that’s her reaction to the mere thought of us not being a couple anymore how could I explain being pan to her?”

“Sorry man. I know you really wanted to tell them” Aiden says, then he adds pointing at Tomas; “And you, if you are thinking of saying something stupid, don’t.”

“I will forgive that because you never know how someone will react but I am not queer-phobic. I am bi.” Tomas says.

“Wait what? You have been holding out on me! I can't believe you have been denying me my right to matchmake properly.” Aiden says pouting.

“What even…?” Tomas says, probably as confused as I feel.

“Never mind, we will discuss this betrayal later. Mase, finish telling us what happened.” Aiden says.

“I think I had been fooling myself by thinking all I needed to do was get through my senior year and then they would stop being so controlling. After hearing them plan out my entire life like that, it made me realize I had no control over my own life and probably never would. The thought sent me spiraling. I just wanted to forget that that was my life now so I chose partying as my way to forget. I drank so much that first week I am surprised I didn’t get alcohol poisoning or any lasting liver damage.” I say then take a breath, steeling myself for the next part.

“No matter the time of day there was always someone having some type of get-together so I never ran out of places to go drawn my problems. One day I was at a party with one of my new drinking buddies, Jason when we got invited to one that was taking place on a yacht. I was already halfway wasted and didn’t feel like driving but Jason said he was okay to drive so we took off. I remember telling him to slow down but he said he didn’t want the yacht to leave without us. That’s when it occurred to me that he might be drunk, the yacht had already left. A smaller boat would be taking us to the yacht. He failed to take a turn properly and veered into oncoming traffic. The other driver swerved to avoid us and crashed into a nearby tree. As Jason corrected the car, I was knocked against the window and passed out.” I say.

“When I came to, two days had gone by. I learned Jason hadn’t stopped driving when the other car crashed. He continued for a couple of miles until police pulled him over for swerving all over the place. I was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. Between his dad and mine they were able to pay off the cops and we were never officially booked. As for the other driver, it turned out he was not wearing a seatbelt and was flung clear of his car. He broke one of his legs, some of his ribs and had sustained a serious head injury. Our families paid his family settlement money, paid his medical bills and set him up in a Swiss rehabilitation center. I had been kept sedated while they took care of everything so by the time I woke up everyone was acting like nothing happened. Dad said not to speak of it again and move on. I was not allowed to meet Jason or the other driver who turned out to be a kid our age. I was not allowed to speak about it to anyone not even a therapist so I felt like I was losing my mind.”

“A few weeks went by and I was able to find a decent therapist who offered online sessions, everything was anonymous. Those sessions helped a lot but I guess seeing the text brought everything back.” I finish.

“I understand if you guys want to leave. What I did was horrible.” I add.

“Mason…allowing your friend to drive when both of you had been drinking was stupid and dangerous. Causing an accident but not stopping and continuing to drive intoxicated putting more people at risk and then covering up the crime is deplorable but you are not the one who did that, Mason.” Tomas says.

“But the other driver…”

“What happened to him was terrible and it might have been worsened by the fact that he was not wearing a seatbelt. You are not solely responsible for what happened.” Aiden says.

I thought I was all cried out, guess I was wrong. Aiden and Tomas sit with me and offer kind words I don’t deserve.

I need to work harder to deserve them.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N

What did you think of Mason's confession? How much is he at fault for what happened?

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- Oli 💌