KanaMafu Poems [Project Sekai]

Poem #4

Same here, Yuki
When my father collapsed,
I thought all hope would be lost
Because the terrible cost
Of his condition
Nearly broke me

I can understand how you feel
I understand all too well
How quickly things can change,
and plummet your life into a living hell
And cause your mind to dwell
On pointless questions
"What if Mother -"
"What if Father -"
There was no need to ask, because reality happened
Not those questions
It was truly painful to see my father hurt the way he did

Losing Mother did a lot,
and now I was on the brink of losing my father
I was about to lose everyone in my life I cared about
I was about to lose everything
For some time I wanted to waste away with myself
Refusing to fill the void of emptiness

Empty heart
Empty soul
Empty mind
Empty house
Empty everything
What was the point?

Mother was gone, and Father was hurting
I felt alone, I truly felt alone
But in that dark hour of my life
Hours after Father was rushed to the hospital
The soothing melody of Mother's music box
snapped me back to reality and light
Yes, Father was hurting
But who said he would always be that way?
Nothing was certain, I knew that
I wanted to hope for the best, and I will
That music box reminded me
that I needed to keep going
Don't throw my life away -- save others through music
Music of my own

Before I knew it, I composed and composed
Eating and everything else I opposed
Only music mattered, that was it
Still, even as I strung melodies together
Even as I created soft tunes to touch hearts,
I was deeply hurting, I was deeply in pain
The thoughts of never seeing my father again was a strain
On my heavy heart

Would things always be this way?
Would I continue composing in the darkness of my room?
Feeling lonely, missing Father, nearly losing myself, wanting to disappear?
I had no idea, and I did not want to know
Deep within me was pain, a void, the depths of my own despair
Until you and I met,
and we shared the same pain
Please, Yuki -- Please continue to let me watch over you
I cared about you then, and I still do

Whenever you feel low, Yuki
Whenever you feel like you can't move forward,
Let me pick you back up
So I can guide you with my light
Through the despair and darkness
that we'll overcome together.