𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙤𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙯𝙞𝙣𝙜 ༉‧₊ 𝙠𝙪𝙧𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣

10

kuroo's pov;

in the past, whenever someone asked me what i regretted the most, i didn't know what to respond with. in the past, i had everything. and whatever i did was carefully calculated. i never made unnecessary decisions which would cause me problems in the near future. but if right now someone asked me what i regretted the most, i'd probably have my answer.

the only thing i regretted at this very moment was probably out of my control. i regretted not meeting kenma before, and not knowing a lot of things about him. which may be childish, because it was fate. we were meant to meet at that night in the elevator. and whatever relationship or bonding we probably will have in the near future depends on that one time we met for the first time. that is out of my control though. but the reason why i wished i knew kenma better was the conversation i just happened to overhear.

"do you have any plans for your birthday?" takeru asked kenma while both of them were wiping the tables.

"HIS BIRTHDAY IS COMING?" i shouted, and both of them turned to look towards me. before any of them could speak though, the customer in front of me coughed, pulling me back to reality. i gave him a nervous smile as i continued taking his order. tonight's shift was busier than before, so i barely had the time to talk to kenma. the curiosity was killing me, and i didn't even have very cat-like instincts.

after my shift was over, i removed my apron in the worker's room first, and then just sat there for a few minutes. i knew this was stupid, but it was bothering me how takeru knew kenma a lot. and how, according to kenma, they had more chemistry or whatever. if kenma had to fall for someone from the both of us, it'd probably be takeru. and that was enough to question myself. not my feelings, though. because i knew i liked him, and there was nothing wrong with that. i just... wanted to be someone he'd like spending time with.

it wasn't normal. i never thought like this. i never doubted myself, and i never had feelings for anyone. so all of this did indeed feel weird, almost to the point where my chest felt a little heavy, and i didn't really feel cheerful. kenma seemed to notice it, though. because the moment he entered the room and his eyes fell on me, he didn't look away. he put away his apron first, and then took in a deep breath before hesitantly sitting beside me.

there was silence after that, and i decided not to break it. not because i didn't want to, but because i didn't know what i would end up saying. takeru always seemed to collect his words before speaking, he was like kenma in more ways than one. he probably played games too, and had been working here way before me. of course he knew kenma better, and i had no control over that.

"today was busy," he tried breaking the silence, and i looked up at him. i gave him a little smile as i nodded, and looked down again.

"um, kuroo?" he started again, and i hummed in response. he sighed after a bit as he stood up. "shall we go? takeru already left."

is that the reason why you came to me?

that thought came to my mind in an instance, and i wished it would disappear in an instance too. but it didn't, so i shoved it into the back of my mind as i smiled at him.

"sure."

+ + +

the walk back home was silent. an awkward silence that felt like we both wanted to say something, but couldn't bring ourselves to say so. time seemed to pass by faster tonight, and i didn't even realise when i had to say goodbye to kenma as his figure disappeared into his apartment room and he closed the door behind him.

so i entered my room too, and just plopped myself down on my bed.

i said i'd be honest to him, and here i was, chickening out. all i had to do was ask his birthday, yet i couldn't even bring myself to say a word.

my curtains were closed, and the lights in my room were off. but it got lit up dimly, due to the light coming from the window. which was unusual, because the lights of the hallway were already off, and kenma went straight to bed in whatever clothes he was wearing right after coming back from work.

the urge to get up and look outside my window got the best of me, so i stood up, and slowly moved the curtains away.

the sight in front of me was hard to process. not for my mind, but for my heart. because the  butterflies i felt in my stomach made me happy. but the way my heart was thumping so loudly in my chest wasn't healthy. the room was quiet, so i could feel my heartbeat in my head.

the sight in front of me was hard to process, and when i saw kenma standing there, holding a paper, i completely melted at that sight.

it's 16th october.

it read. the way kenma was looking at everywhere but me made me realise that he was nervous. or probably embarrassed. i immediately picked up my phone and dialled his number. from the window, i saw him looking down at his screen, and then up at me again as he raised an eyebrow. i nodded in response, and i saw him rub his temple before he put the phone to his ear.

"what?" his voice broke through, and even though it wasn't my first time hearing him, my heart absolutely melted at that. i took in a deep breath, and sighed.

"i'll be the first person to wish you," i said. and i meant it. it felt good to be honest with him again, and the way i could see his face become red even from afar was cute. the chuckle that escaped my lips couldn't be stopped, the way my heart started beating fasted couldn't be stopped either. but what could have been stopped was what i told him next.

"please don't leave me."

there was silence on the other side of the line, and neither was there any movement on the other side of the window. for a second, i felt like my heart had stopped, but his words brought me back to life.

"i won't."

and i could only hope that i don't look back at this moment and regret all my choices.

(a/n); guys i promise this isnt even close to the breaks i used to take with my other book 🥰 (im j preparing yall for the worst)

jkjk i was j in a rlly bad writer's block, lets pray we're out of it now tho 🥳 sorry for the break and the halfass chapter, the next chapter wont be disappointing i promise

stay safe and don't forget to drink water <3