Bird (HimeSane) [KNY]

I

I always knew that joining this organization was the direct death sentence, and that our lives would end up being shorter than they really should be.

I didn't think clearly, that inner rage I felt for losing all the people I loved filled me with so much hatred and resentment that I didn't think clearly what I was doing.

Those new acquaintances have always been kind to me, but I don't care a bit.

Or that's what I thought I believed.

I had made it clear, that I didn't want anyone to come near me, humiliate, offend, and mistreat anyone who even tried to get close to me, I cared, even though the only person I respected was the boss for being my savior, but then the others for me could disappear, they didn't have any emotional weight for me.

There were few of us, that time I entered, but gradually the family grew bigger, until it was huge and powerful.

They divided us into ranks, each more powerful than the others, and above all, it was me and those annoying pillars.

They all had combat partners, and some worked alone, like me.

Who refused more than flatly to have a partner.

But what a surprise I was, realizing that despite my coldness, my heart was still human, and I was able to continue to love someone.

Someone I can never imagine feeling appreciated.

I had to be conscious, I basically didn't know anything about him.

All I knew was that I was a monk before I was a pillar, that I was blind, and religious.

After that, I knew absolutely nothing else.

You were the most powerful among the pillars, your size and physical aggression would deceive anyone, but who would say that behind that mask and killer body was a sweet and gentle person who only cared to help others.

At first I thought it was annoying all that, and how annoying you were, always trying to be behind me, like you were my shadow, and I sent you down a pipe over and over again, and you there holding on to your convictions of wanting to help me, even though I don't want your help.

I was surprised how insistent you could become, but over time you realized that I wasn't interested in the affection, concern and desire for help that you felt for me.

But now I'm so sorry I couldn't have done anything.

The others always had a lot of love and respect for you, and almost all the new inmates were after you, which gave me a lot of anger and jealousy, at first I didn't understand, but as the days went by, I realized what was really happening to me.

I refused to think that I was in love with another man, that was an abominable thing, and unthinkable to me.

But they said no one sent the heart.

Once he falls in love, it's impossible to forget what he feels.

You were too charming, too sweet for this world full of injustice and evil that you didn't deserve to see everything that happened, you liked to help people.

I wanted you to give me that attention, but I was the worst person who didn't take that step and tell you how I felt or approached you.

For cowardice.

But one thing if I could thank you, and that's giving him that delicate light to my life that was turned off, and protecting what I couldn't do.

I owe it all to you Gyomei Himejima, the pillar of the rock.

You're the best gift life ever gave me.