It was like a blink, and he was not there, the only thing I see its people coming back, and then a guy came to me and said that "we are all coming back, and we need you there" opened a portal and gone. I was confused, but I followed him anyway. I could see Thanos' arms and there were portals everywhere.
And then I saw HIM. I was angry, I couldn't stop thinking about what I saw him doing to my only hope of having a life, there were so many plans and now nothing.
After the battle, Clint came to me asking if I was fine. We went to the queenJet and gone to an old shield base. Everyone was being relocated to NY apartments, but it would be only for a few weeks, just so the Grupe could start life. Four days later, an invite to Starks funeral came to me. To be honest I was not hoping to be invited. We were not even friends, but I will, only in respect for what he did.
When the funeral was over, I stood alone closer to a river, I was just thinking about everything that has happened some days ago, I had to kill my only hope of happiness in this world for nothing and yet had to see he dye twice. I was deep in my thoughts and heard Clint's voices.
-Hey
-Hey
-Are you okay? - he asked and looked at me with a look of "you can be honest with me"
- I'm fine, it's just, you know... funerals. And you?
-Look, every time I look at this, I talk to myself how good it would be if there was a way to tell her that we won, that the sacrifice was worth it.
-I'm pretty sure that she knows it. - I answered him and melancholy came to me, I did not want him to notice it, but he did. He touched my shoulder and said – they both do. - I make a little smile and start saying goodbye to him. He hugged me and said that he was sorry and cliché things that he was used to say.
I finely get in my car (a gift that Stark gave me on my birthday, he said that I would only stop destroying car if a had one). I was tired, so i took a shower and went to bed.
I woke up at 2:45pm, what it's not big news for me (I was taking a med that makes me sleep or be awake all night). I didn't get up until 3:00pm because I didn't have a lot of things to do. I did not tell anyone about that, but I felt that no one cared about what I did, I did give everything, but no one seemed to care about it. I was trying to ignore this feeling, but I can't, I realize that really hurt, they are acting like Tony was the only one that died three, but of course that I understand that he is the flash and blood hero and such, but everyone gave something there and they only care about what he did. I was deep in these thoughts while my breakfast was getting cold on my plate.
I went back to my room and put a sitcom to watch but I did not laugh at any joke. I fell asleep and woke with the tv on, but nothing was passing, it was in pause asking if I wanted to repeat the episodes. It was three o'clock and I knew that from there I would not sleep anymore. I got up to eat a frozen pizza and finished watching a sitcom for the whole night.
It's been 6 days since I came back, and I didn't have a break down yet, I was trying to hold on because I knew that if I started it would kill me, but I could not stop think about how unfair it was. Everyone had a reason to come back and live, but I didn't, it's not fair that when I was finely about to have something, when I was about to live a life that I always dreamed about it. I did not want to start crying but I could help, the tears started to come out of my eyes and my breath was hard like the air was over, then I put my hand on my chest and tried to control my breathing.
When it finely stopped, I got up and drank a cup of water and called Bruce Banner, I did not want to call him, but he was the only one who knew what happened to Vision. He took a bit to hang on. But he did and his voice sounds confused. -Hello, Wanda, is everything okay?
- Yes, I'm just calling because... because you know, hmm You were there when Vision... You were there when I wasn't, and I need to ask you, what happened next? - There was silence, I think that he was trying to remember, I mean it's been five years for him. -Well, Wanda, he signed the Sokovia accords, so we could not keep him. I'm sorry.
-Yes, I know you did not, but what happened? What did they do to him? I just need an answer, Doctor. -I wish I could give you that answer, but I cannot, we had to give him to the government. They said that they would respect his living will and not try to bring him back.
- Do you know where he is now?
-Not sure, but there is a new facility that takes care of technology, it is called SWORD, and he is probably there, but I'm sure they won't let you in.
-Do you know where it is?
-You can find the address online, but to be honest, Wanda, I don't think that this is a good idea. What are you going to do if you find him there?
-Well, I don't know, I just need to find a way to take it out of my mind.
-Okay, good luck. Listen, if this works as advice, to stop thinking about Nat, I spent one week at the places she used to like, it somehow helped me.
- Thanks, doctor. - then I turned off the phone and started searching for information that could help me to find the address, when I finely find it, I felt like my heart was not in my chest, I was not prepared to see him like that, not again.
This night I could not sleep, and when I woke up, I took a shower to take the sleep out of my eyes, I didn't eat anything, I just took a piece of paper from my dresser. That piece of paper is what the planes of what my home would be, what our home would be. I took the car out and drove to New Jersey.
