A lot of people tell children it's okay to dream big, but when their older, they always say they need to be more realistic. I graduated high school in 2022, I have a younger sister who is going into her senior year of high school. My sister has a lot of mental health issues that my family allows her to do most of the things she wants. However, my sister isn't the only one who struggles with things (I guess I'm just better at hiding it). As a kid, I cried myself to sleep, knowing we all die one day, and it scared me because I didn't want to lose anyone close to me, family or friend. Due to that, I was scared to grow up/ get older.
Though I won't say this out loud, whenever I'm around, people I tend to feel like I'm not really there or that no one cares because they don't notice. I have learned from listening to my friends when they have their issues that mine aren't that bad and that others have it a lot worse than I do. When I see people on news talk about a shooting, war, murder, suicide, or anything like, I tend to wonder why it happened or why people talk about it like there's nothing wrong with it. How many people have to die or get hurt because of violence? How many people does it take before anyone realizes that violence isn't the answer and never will be. How many people does it take before anyone realizes that we're all people, we live, breathe, and feel just like everyone else. How much pain do people need to cause before it's enough? How many families have to be torn apart before violence stops? How many people have to die before a war is over? Why is it necessary? And why in a world where people are supposed to be free are things like discrimination on others exists?
These have been the many things I've thought about growing up. It doesn't help that when I was told that my parents didn't plan on having me (born an accident) where my sister was planned, I felt unwanted or not worth having around. That's probably why I keep to myself. Who really knows, though?
The only thing I really like to do is write because I want to be an author, but I've been told that I need to be realistic despite the fact that I've thought about that for years when I probably shouldn't have. I've never been confident in anything, and being told not to do something that I like to do kinda hurts a bit because that's how I'm able to express how I feel.
