My Savage Love for You

True Colors

Sierra

I heard a knock at the door and knew it was Penn. My heart skipped a beat in excitement. I was happy to have a second date with him after such an incredible night at the museum! I was really into Penn and had a good feeling about us. "Tracy wasn't wrong when she said that this has to be some sort of fate," I thought as I opened the front door.

"Hey, Penn," I welcomed.

"Hey, Sierra. It's nice to see you again!"

"Likewise! So, how was Jason's?"

"Uh, it was fun!" he stuttered. "The doughnut burgers were very unique."

"Oh, I see. Was that all?" I asked hoping to get a clue as to what things are really like between him and Jason.

"Um... Pretty much," Penn stated casually. "I guess we also talked about lifting weights and Jason's other food creations. Anyway, what are we watching tonight?"

He was giving me zero signs. I noted to myself, "There must either be nothing going on or he's hiding something."

I said to Penn, "I thought that we could watch 'Bullet Train' if that's okay with you."

"Yeah, of course!" he replied.

We walked to my living room and took a seat on my sofa.

As the movie played, I tried my best to pay attention, but my mind kept wandering toward Penn's relationship with Jason. I thought back to when I Facetimed Penn earlier that day when he was at Jason's house. The romantic music in the background and the fact that Jason was making Penn dinner all seemed like clear signs of a relationship that is more serious than "just friends".

"I wish I could read his mind," I thought. Yet, as much as I wanted to know the details of what happened at Jason's, I wanted to be Penn's official girlfriend more. I decided that being honest about how I was feeling would be best.

After thoughtful consideration about what to say, I paused the movie and finally asked, "Penn, are we dating?"

Penn slightly raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I- Uh..." he gawked.

I elaborated, "I'm just saying because I feel as though maybe there's something between you and Jason. I might be completely wrong and maybe you guys are really nothing more than friends– and if that's true, then I'd really like you to tell me I'm wrong about you and Jason– but I wanted to be sure that we're not just 'having fun' and that you're serious about me the same way that I'm serious about you. So are we dating?"

Penn sat still, speechless for a moment. He stared off into space as if he was thinking about what to say and looked nervous, which worried me. Finally, he faced me and gently placed my hands into his. My stomach started to form butterflies which only multiplied when he looked into my eyes so fondly.

Then, he answered, "Look, Sierra. I can assure you that nothing is going on between Jason and I. Like I told you last night, I want nothing but you, Sierra. I feel so grateful that you coincidentally moved so close to me despite the slim chances of such a thing happening. So... if you're okay with it, I want us to be dating."

I was ecstatic that Penn felt the same way that I did and could not stop smiling. Yet, something about this felt weird. I ignored the feeling and happily replied, "I want that too."

Penn leaned closer to me and kissed me. I felt like I was outside the parking garage at the photography museum all over again. His kiss was like magic and yet, I still felt uneasy about what he said. I didn't truly believe him when he said that nothing was going on between him and Jason. There was just no way he was telling the truth because I could tell how deeply he cared for him when he passed out at the pool. On top of that, his tone would always change whenever he talked about Jason.

When Penn pulled away from me, he smiled and asked, "Are we good now?" while tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Yeah," I smiled to conceal my true thoughts. "Everything's okay."

I unpaused the movie and still couldn't focus. "I have to know what's really going on between them," I worried in my head.

"Hey, do you mind if I use your bathroom really quick?" Penn asked.

I paused the TV and said, "Yeah, of course. The bathroom's just down the hall to your right."

When Penn stood up from the couch, his phone slid out of his pocket. He didn't seem to notice and disappeared into the hallway.

As I waited, I spiraled even more, "What if Penn's dating Jason? It has been decades since we've been together. Maybe Penn's become the type of person to cheat! If they are dating, I should let Jason know who he's messing with. He needs to back off."

I couldn't take it any longer. I decided to get a glass of water in hopes that I could calm down before Penn came back. When I stood up, Penn's phone lit up. I took a peak to see if it was a notification from Jason.

"It's just a reminder," I realized.

Suddenly, I got the crazy idea of getting Jason's number from Penn's phone so I could get him to stay away from my boyfriend and let him know that Penn is mine. "If I'm going to do this, it's now or never!" I decided as I heard the toilet flush from the hallway. As adrenaline pumped through my veins, I quickly searched for Jason's contact with my shaky hands and copied the number into my phone. I put Penn's phone back on the seat of the sofa exactly as I found it.

I took deep breaths to help calm myself down and not give myself away when I heard Penn walking toward the living room.

"Hey, sorry about that," he said as he sat down.

"No worries!" I said as I pushed "Play".

My heart was still pounding from the adrenaline. I couldn't believe that I just did that! Part of me felt wrong, but it wasn't like I invaded Penn's privacy. I just borrowed his phone to get someone's number. No big deal.

About an hour later, the movie came to an end. I showed Penn out and kissed him goodbye, pretending that I never picked up his phone behind his back.

When he finally left, I sat back down on my sofa and got to typing. I knew I wanted my message to be direct and strict. There was no way I was going to let Penn and Jason stay friends.

I started a message to Jason, "Do everyone a favor and stay away from Penn. He'll never be into someone like you anyway."

As my thumb hovered over the "Send" button, my heart was beating rapidly. I began to question myself and wondered, "Is this something I really want to do?"

For the next few minutes, I pondered whether or not I should send the message to Jason. In the end, I concluded, "Since I already went into Penn's phone to get Jason's number, I should probably just follow through with what I intended anyway, right? I mean, I already made the decision when I picked up Penn's phone. Plus, I really care about Penn and I don't want anything to get in our way of being happy together."

With my decision made, I hit send and held my breath. I had no idea how he would respond, or if he would ever respond. I sat there staring at the blue bubble on my screen waiting for a response. I was so anxious I began to sweat profusely. My palms were starting to feel like Niagara Falls.

Finally, I got a response! I was so nervous, my heart felt as though it stopped.

"Can we meet up tomorrow?" Jason responded.

I gasped. "What do I do? Should I meet him and reveal my identity?" I panicked. I decided, "No, no, I should definitely meet with him. I have to show him that I'm not messing around, hiding behind a screen. Besides, my message will probably be more effective if I deliver it in person. I can do this."