Love you twice

(love you twice by huh yunjin)
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Guilt.

Pain.

Heartache.

These are the only emotions that course through Jimin, he knows it's wrong. He knows he shouldn't feel those things for his best friend's boyfriend. Jeon jungkook. Taehyung and jungkook have been dating for well over a year, jimin was happy when he found out about Taehyung's little crush on some boy in math class, jimin was there throughout everything, he encouraged taehyung to make the first move on jungkook considering the boy was quite shy and rarely said anything. Jimin witnessed everything, he saw when Jungkook accepted Tae's confession, he heard Tae rant about the first time they kissed, held hands, their first date, and even the first time they had sex. He got to witness their beautiful relationship bloom over time.

< A spotless bedroom spends quiet nights
Pilates mornings and she's good with wine >

Jimin is currently listening to taehyung ramble about his karaoke date with jungkook, he truly does feel happy but he can't help but feel the pang of hurt his heart feels. "It was the best minnie! He sings so beautifully, oh god I think I'm in love with him, it's almost as if time stopped when he looked at me... What's that saying... Oh right! That the eyes are the window to the soul! Oh jimin... "  he would be lying if he said he hadn't stopped listening to his fiend rambling. Yes, he was happy for him. He was just too busy imagining the whole scene, Jungkook looking at him with loving eyes, his smooth voice singing a love song, while he caresses jimin's cheeks .. Slowly leaning in and-

"jimin?! Are you still there?"  no, I am not.

"mmm, just a bit tired.. call you later?" Please don't ask any questions... He repeated inside his head like a mantra

"Oh. um minnie you know you can tell me anything right? You sound upset... Do you want us to come over?"  just leave me alone.

"Not today..thanks though.." he couldn't hold it in anymore, and a loud sob came out of his mouth, he tried his best to muffle the sobs that came out

"jimin ?! Baby why are you crying-"  he hung up, he couldn't bare to hear his best friend try to comfort him, he felt so guilty for cursing him in his mind, he felt the guilt wash over him while he was talking about his partner, jimin was too busy fantasizing about jungkook, he also wanted to feel loved, he wanted to be taken care for the way jungkook took care of taehyung whether it was when he was sick or just having a bad day jungkook was just boyfriend material, he seemed to always know what taehyung needed even before jimin did, yes at first he thought he was just simply jealous but soon it turned more. He was suddenly fantasizing about him finding himself tidying his apartment, cooking some of Jungkook's favorite meals, and even dressing up a little bit just for him.

< She wakes at the right time, sets the right vibes She's funny but never too much
Mysterious but always in touch. >

they're having lunch at their usual spot, the three of them sitting on the grass, he's watching how jungkook whispers something to taehyung who collapses on the floor loud laughter emitting from him, he looks over at jungkook who is giggling and looking at taehyung with his ever so loving eyes. He watches how jungkook helps taehyung who ultimately pushes Jungkook down with him. Causing the both of them to erupt with laughter and giggles.

He forces a smile to come out, tears threatening to come out leaving a bitter taste in his mouth looking at the domestic scene in front of him. He can't take it.

So he leaves with the excuse he needs to use the bathroom. Not an excuse, now he's kneeling towards the toilet,  forcing himself to throw up. He felt so nauseous, maybe it was just the shame of his fantasies that we're eating him up or it was just that he got food poisoning..probably the other.