Jaana : The Girl He Loved Too Much

Chapter 35

"Stop the car," Shahzain turned to her at her request. "Are you okay?" he asked, holding her hand, thinking if she was feeling dizzy or something. "Stop the car," she repeated. "But it's raining too much. Why do you want to stop here in the middle of the road." his words met silence, and he turned the jeep on the roadside halting.

Sitara got down from the jeep and walked a bit. His eyes followed her as she stood in the middle of the road. Not understanding her behavior, he got down himself. Putting his palm up in a vague attempt to save himself from the pouring rain, he took steps towards her. He halted hearing the voice he craved. Her laugh. He was looking at her mesmerized as she was laughing and dancing. She revolved with her hands stretched and her veil flew in the wind. He picked it up where it landed on the road, What has gotten under her? He thought seeing her like this.

She was oblivious to her surroundings. She doesn't care about the veil, about her laugh. She was overwhelmed with what all she witnessed today. She came out of the car to take a moment from all the emotions that were bombarding her. She wants to let go of her fears, her apprehensions, her anxiety. She wanted to scream and tell the world that she was happy.

"Nargis!" she screamed the name of her best friend while dancing in the rain with closed eyes. "Nargis dekh teri dost ko mohabbat ho gai aaj!!" she yelled as she laughed. (Nargis, see your friend has fallen in love today)

Shahzain held her from her elbows and shook her. "Sitara, Nargis Bhabhi is not here." he tried to face the reality that her best friend is not around. Who is she talking?

She was looking intently at his face. Her palm traveled the sharp jawbone brushing along his stubble. Her eyes were stuck at his, and his eyes were going haywire bewildered at her behavior.

"Jaana, where are you lost?" he asked, touching her palm that was inspecting every part of his face.

She has looked at him so many times, and she has admired his beauty so many times before. Why is he looking so different today? He is not someone she had just met a few months ago, but someone she knows from forever. He is so beautiful that the thought came across her mind hundreds of times before, but today it's not his face that looked beautiful. Today, his soul felt beautiful. It was his selflessness that she saw today was making her heart skip a beat. It was not like she felt this for the first time. She felt the same tremble when she first saw him. Then too she felt that the ground was ragged from beneath her feet, but today, the fall is more peaceful. It was the same monster that made her soul quiver, and today, all she can feel is the butterfly fluttering in her stomach. She touched his cheek and still she can see the blood that dripped down from his face on the day of her wedding, but somehow she is not scared today, she felt like she was not looking at a blood thirsty monster but at the God delivering justice. He looked the same yet so different today.

She smiled at him, and he raised his eyebrows, still trying to figure out. He stumbled a bit as she hugged him. Embracing him, her world stopped still on its axis. There was no time, no wind, no rain. Sitara's mind was at peace. Today, she felt what he felt every time he looked at her. Pure. Unselfish. Undemanding. Free. She felt her body press in, soft and warm. This was the love she'd waited for, prayed for. She inwardly thanked God and hugged all the tighter. A love like this was to be cherished for life. Finally, she was home.

"Ghar se to Shaitan dekhne nikali thi, kise pata tha mulaqat farishte se ho jaegi" (I left house to see the devil in you, who would have know I will meet the angel) she said staring at him.

"I-I don't understand," he replied, not understanding her words or her behavior.

"I love you, Shahzain," she said. Her words made him break the hug in an instant. "What did you say?" he asked, stepping back. "I love you," she said and took another step back. She kept looking at him and stepping back, repeating herself, "I love you, I love you. I love you, Shahzain!" She yelled, laughing and crying at the same time.

Hearing her words made Shahzain stumbled back. His kept moving backward until his back bumped into his jeep. He slid down on the floor. His eyes were stuck on her. Where she was screaming her confession, he couldn't find his voice to utter a word.

She wanted to tell the world that she was in love. She can feel what people call the most happiest feeling in the world. Falling in love. She didn't care about the veil or who might hear her. In that moment, there was no fear, not of Shahazain, not of his punishments, not of his possessiveness. The only thing that mattered was that she was in love and she was happy.

Getting up, he urged his legs to move towards her. He wanted to touch her, to believe what he just heard was true. Is it even real? or is he dreaming? Trembling feet moved towards her, fearing what if she disappeared when he touched her. But what if it's real? It feels like his heart will explode.

She banged into his chest in between her twirls, and he held her from falling. Looking at him, she cupped his cheek. He stood her straight. The words were struggling to come out, but he couldn't figure out what to say. He couldn't even feel himself steady. It felt like he was floating. He wanted to say something, a lot of things, hell, at least he could say I love you too. But even that was becoming impossible. He never even in his dreams imagined this. He never thought even of the teeny tiny possibility that she could fall in love with him, too.

I love you too Jaana, he said finally, or did he? What the fuck is wrong with you Shahzain, you have said it hundred times, how can you not say it right now, he scolded himself. These are the words he repeated to himself more than he took his name, then how come he is not able to say it now. She is standing right in front of him, waiting for him to say but he couldn't and she, she still heard it. It was painted on his face, his reddened cheeks were screaming his love, his teary eyes were giving the testimony of his gratitude for her love, his increased heart beat was affirming his adoration for her.

She pulled him closer, this time not with just her eyes, but by fisting his shirt. Her palm reached his cheek and her forehead touched his. "Jaana.." he whispered but before he could even frame in his head, her lips met his parted ones.

The pitter patter of rain was not audible to him anymore, the smell of the mud was not reaching his senses anymore, instead they were overwhelmed with the fragrance of rose and white lilies. His heart was beating faster and faster and her hands found their way in his hair. She was drowning in him. The whooshing of wind was not registering in her mind, it was all him. Her eyes were closed and all she could see was him. She was lost. It was not just her tongue dancing with his, it was her heart dancing at like a little child at its own beat. His hands reached her waist, pulling her closer, ensuring to kill any space between them . He won't allow even the air to be between them right now, his Jaana was kissing him. Is he even alive? was the thought that came to him because this could only be in heaven, not that he is ever going there. Is this some sort of parallel universe? Irrespective, even if it's a dream, he would never want to wake up.

Neither did she. For the first time, she was experiencing this happiness. It was like she was in her own universe, and all she wanted to stay there forever was. With him.