Philophobia ❧ JEONGCHAN

3

Chaotic-Tate McRae

-

"How was your birthday?"

Jeongin gazed out the window of the group's favorite barbeque restaurant. He watched people shuffle across the road when the street light turned red. His birthday wasn't anything exciting. Selena, the girl he'd wooed over with a few drinks and seducing smiles, was the only highlight. She also brought a lot of confusing emotions to him. Liking two genders wasn't unusual but for him it was crazy. He had been so confident and the fact that his sexuality had changed so suddenly because of a single person killed his pride in everything. It'd been a week and he hadn't taken a single picture of anything.

Everything was tinted with a dark haze. Colors? What were they, anyway? Maybe Jisung was better off without understanding them. Fuck blue. Black ate away at him just as much, though. The stupid triangular kangaroo tattoo mocked him at his abdomen.

"Jeongin?"

He turned his attention back to his friends. "Just another day," he answered, taking the dry end of his straw so that he could stir his cola. He watched the ice crash into each other. It was the most amusing thing in the moment. As long as he wasn't looking into Chris' adoring gaze he was fine.

"What'd you do?" Hyunjin asked, sparing a glance to Jisung as if to ask what his problem was.

Jisung shook his head to signal he had no idea. Jeongin watched it all in the reflection of the table. Should he lie? If he told them he went to the club they'd freak. They still treated him like a nineteen-year-old. He was pretty sure they thought he was a virgin. That was probably his own fault. He kept his club visits a secret between him and Beomgyu's group. He was too scared to tell them he wasn't exactly as innocent as they thought him to be.

"Slept," he told Hyunjin. Who knows what Chris would think.

"It's your milestone as an official adult and you. . .slept?" Felix questioned, brows risen in shock at the simplicity of the answer.

Technically he did sleep. With Selena. At one in the morning after binging a few erotic movies while they made out. "Yup." He released his straw and grabbed his buzzing phone. Selena was texting him. To be honest he never wanted her number to begin with but he guessed if his emotions were going to continue to fuck him over, having it was better than gaining an addiction to nicotine. Plus, she didn't seem like she wanted anything exclusive.

She had sent him a picture of the sunset. He looked out the window and examined it for himself. A orange hue covered the sky, hiding half of the sun behind cream-colored clouds. He snapped a picture of his hand against his glass of cola and sent it to her. "Jeongin's got a girlfriend," Minho cooed.

Jeongin shoved him lightly into Jisung as he was invading his personal space. He shut his phone off and pressed it on the table. "She's not my girlfriend."

Changbin snickered and ignored his statement. "Seungmin, you better hurry up. Jeongin's going to beat you to the altar."

"Girls are afraid of me. I'm literally not even scary what is their problem?"

"You're attached to Hyunjin's hip."

"Because he's going to be alone for the rest of his life."

"I am not! I just have to find someone who's not all about sex. I'm looking for my romantic soulmate."

Jeongin scoffed. If he could marry Chris with the only rule being no sex he would sign his soul on the certificate in a heartbeat. Soulmates were so stupid. No one was destined for anyone. People just implanted romantic nonsense into tattoos. People still broke up. Divorces happened. There was no logical explanation behind their tattoos being soul marks. He bit back any sarcastic reply he may want to project and stood up.