Loving you is killing me (Harry Styles fanfiction)

Chapter four

"What happend mum?" I rushed to her. She was sitting on a sofa in our living room with a phone in her hand. "Mum, talk to me. What happend?" I asked again. She looked at me, her eyes totaly red, her cheeks were flushing by all those tears. "N-n-nothing Carly. Just go sleep angel. Everything will be alright, don't worry." "Mum, stop talking to me like Im 6 or something, Im old enough to know, why you're crying. I wanna help you. So let me" I told her with a smile on my face, even though I was down. I hated to see her like this, broken, but still trying to be strong. "He's out of prison and he knows where we are, babe. He...he told me, that's we'll suffer again...." when she said that, she started to cry again, but this time more. This time she didn't hide anything. I was just sitting there and trying to not to break down totaly. He's coming back, my father is coming back for us. He'll kill us, for sure. I didn't know if I should cry or not. I was down, I stood up, left my mum behind and went to my room. I locked the door and sat on the bed. I was sitting like that for a while and then the hysterical cry just ran out of me. I was totaly lost in my memories on him, memories on my bad bad life. I wanted to die, I wanted to die so hard, that I stood up and went to the bathroom, where I locked myself in.

I grabbed a gilette and put it on my wrist. I couldn't see him again, not him. When I wanted to cut myself, something started to vibrate in my pocket. I realised that I left my phone in a pocket in case, that I'd need help on that dinner with Harry. I put the gilette on a bath and grabbed that fucking phone. I picked it up without knowing, who is that. "I just wanted to tell you, that Im seeing you in Monday, not like someday as you said in that car." It was Harry."O-o-ok, I'll r-r-remeber th-that" I tried to sound normally but my sighs were stronger than me at the moment. "Are you ok Carly? Are you at home, or? Where are you?" he sounded worried. I inhaled and exhaled just to be better for a while. "Im fine Harry, Im at home, don't worry. See ya im Monday!" I wanted to hang up, but he didn't let me. "I can hear you're crying, somebody hurt you, did I hurt you? If yes, then please, tell me!" "No, no, no Harry, you were nice today, really. Im just tired, nothing you should be worried about. Good night, sleep tight, see ya." This time I hang up before he could've told me anything. I looked at the mirror and I had to smiled at myself. I looked so desparate, mascara all over my face, red eyes, red cheeks, and I just looked awful. I realised that I don't want to die, my mum would be alone, and I couldn't do this to her. I put the gillete back to the shelve and went to my room. My phone vibrated again, I picked it up thinking that it's Harry again. "Hey, Im really fine, you don't have to check on me all the time!" I said with a light smile on my face. But as soon as the person at the other end of the phone started to talk, the smile was gone. "Did you expect somebody else than me, you little bitch? Be prepared, Im gonna find you and.... Haha, you'll see what Im gonna do with you!!"

Then he hang up the phone and all I could do was staring at the wall in front of me. I hated my father. I hated him so much that I couldn't use a word to explain my massive hate. I just layed down on my bed and tried to fall asleep. It was really hard after this strange and scary night, but after few seconds I felt right into my nightmare palace.

When I woke up, it was almost 10 am. Im not really sleepy head so it quite suprised me. I looked at my phone and I had few missed calls and some messages. 2 from Michelle, 2 from Frankie and 7 from unsaved number, but I knew it's Harry. All those messages were from Harry, all in style: Where are you? Are you ok? or Pick up the phone! I had to smile for myself. Even though he's bossy and annoying, he cares more than anyone ever did. I decided to call Michelle first. "Carly!!!! Are you ok? You didn't answer any of our calls. Did Styles hurt you? Are you ok?" she was still asking me and I had to laugh. "Ok, ok Colombo. Stop it there! Im totally fine, I was just tired so I felt asleep really soon. Harry didn't hurt me, you would never ever expect that, but he was nice, most of the night. I just....." I realised that girls didn't know about my past and I knew it's time to tell them. "Michelle, I need to tell you and Frankie something about my past. Can you come in about an hour?" I asked her quietly. "Of course hun, Im gonna call Frankie and we'll be there. Hope you're ok, luv you!" I smiled again, I knew that girls won't let me down. I knew I have to call Harry, he would've killed me if I didn't. "Hello Harry, is it you?" I asked knowing that it's him. I just wanted to be polite, or something. "Of course it's me Carly! Are you ok? I called you like a hundred times! Where were you? And don't you dare to lie to me, Carolina." he was mad, he was hell mad. "Listen Harry, Im ok. I.... Im fine, please, don't worry. I was at home, I promise." I was trying to sound as normal as possible. "Fine, I get it. But why did you cry? Did I do something wrong?" he was really worried that it was because of him! How cute!!!! "It was not because of you, I told you earlier. Just let it go, Im fine now and that's how's gonna be, ok?" maybe I was not trying to convince him, but only myslef. "As you wish. Where are we going to meet?" "Uhm, maybe tomorrow, but Im not sure, Im gonna let you know. Need to go, bye."

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Girls were at my place for about 2 hours now, both crying and hugging me. "Carolina, why haven't you told us about this earlier?" Michelle asked me quietly. "I don't know... I thought that you'll hate me for it, that I'm something worse than you, worse than anyone here. I just wanted to have friends." I said, also crying. "You little idiot! We'd love even if you killed anyone, do you hear me?" now it was Frankie who tried to calm me down. "Thank you girls, I dunno what I'd do without you! Love you so much!!!!" and we sat and cried again. But I felt much better now, that somebody knew about my secrets, that I could talk with someone about that.

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It was late night, I was done with all the studying. On Moday I should've had my exams from psychology, and I was quite sure about it. I was happy that I studied for it so hard, cause those exams are really important. I went to the kitchen where there was my mum. She was doing some salad for herself and she was dancing. I had to smile for myself. She was so flawless right now. Somebody texted me so I looked at my phone. "Sure about the meeting today? Harry xxx" I had to smile once more. Who would ever tell that he's so sweet when he wants to. Suddenly somebody knocked on our door. "Im going there, mum" I shouted at her, so she could hear me through the loud music. When I opened the door, there was a person I didn't expect to see. Like ever....

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I hope you guys like this chapter. Next one will be full of drama and unexpected things, I hope.

If you want to see somebody here, let me know, I may put some more characters here. Also One Direction will be here soon, wait who are they going to be. ;)

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Love you all, Sima!!!