Hello all and welcome! I hope this story finds you well!
Just as a heads up, I thought it was only appropriate that I included trigger warnings at the start of the book before anyone dives in. This book contains mature themes, and our main character, Barbara, has sadly endured a lot of dark things throughout her life. This ranges from sexual abuse, self-harm, and the loss of two very close relatives. There are suicidal ideations throughout and on the page sex. Scenes that are more explicit in detail will feature content warnings at the beginning of the chapter. Please note there's strong depictions of violence and gore in addition to sex. Some scenes will display and or imply physical child abuse, as well as verbal abuse. There's teenage bullying depicted in the flashback chapters which could be triggering for some individuals, and self-deprecating language used.
I would prefer if you were an adult before reading this book.
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Disclaimer
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Now that the trigger warnings have been listed, I just wanted to leave a little note here about my work. Everything you're about to read is solely fiction! Events that my characters describe and have gone through are based on real life tragedies that, I myself, have not personally endured. I want to treat topics such as mental health and sexual abuse with the utmost respect. But with that being said, my characters still have the capacity to desire and love one another. I will outright go ahead and confirm that them coming together romantically DOES NOT heal them from past abuse or trauma. I aim to write complex characters within a complex plot.
While on the topic of sexual content, you may have noticed the Christian tag upon viewing Ill-Gotten Memories. There is very deep and complex religious themes throughout this story. If that subject matter offends you, then Ill-Gotten Memories may not be for you. And with that out of the way, I'm painfully aware of the one-sided debate about whether or not Christians should consume content that includes sex scenes. If you feel you shouldn't be reading this, then by all means, you do not have to. But this book is told in first person, and my goal is to tell the story in the most intimate way possible.
These characters have endured the worst humanity has to offer and I am boldly choosing not to shy away from the details, whether it be of the trauma or the recovery. I want to take you along for their journey, and express that even though people have faith, sometimes it can be broken and distorted. If you've ever heard the saying, "Life imitates art," then you'll see the point I'm making here: life is very messy sometimes, even for those of us who believe in God, and I think art should be allowed to imitate it. There are plenty of good, clean Christian books to read on Wattpad, but Ill-Gotten Memories isn't one of them.
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UPDATES
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This is the part where I must ask you to please realize something important: This is going to be a LONG BOOK. As of writing this disclaimer, I've already written over 70,000 words! There is a lot more to go. The problem is, I'm employed to a relatively large retail chain, we are understaffed constantly, and as the end of the year approaches (it's currently August 20th), I will be getting more hours. Also, I'm a perfectionist. I never plan to abandon this book. Right now it is 90% outlined and there is a clear ending defined in my head. I can't tell you how long it will take me to finish writing it at this rate but I promise, I love this book dearly, and I want nothing more than to finish it.
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DRAFT 0
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This book is a work in progress. As of August 20th, 2024, I have only went back and revised one chapter (it went from 1,000 words to 3,500; I didn't change the outcome of the chapter at all but I did slow down the pace). I have an inner editor inside me who picks apart my work very aggressively, which is why it takes so long me to upload. I try my very best to produce clean, tidy, concise chapters that are easy on the eyes. Please bear with me. I do not claim to be the best writer in the world so if you have any criticisms about my prose, I would appreciate it if you refrained from being super harsh.
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FACE CLAIMS AND REAL LIFE ACTORS
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All my characters are completely fictional, made up, and are of my own creation. However, as part of my writing process, I always fan cast my stories. This book has nothing to do with any real life actor or actress. While I am a fan of their work and am awed by their talents, this is NOT FAN FICTION by any means. Think of it as a movie, and they're the stars. Every movie needs a cast! Now, I'm aware that some people aren't into this and like to imagine the characters in their head. To that I say, more power to you, but I'm still going to describe the characters identically to the actors. So I win.
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// MAFIA MEN //
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One more thing before you dive in. Johnathan isn't your typical mafia guy. He has violent tendencies but he usually regrets them later. He's also a short king! My aim was to make him a shy, almost timid, Silver Fox in the wrong line of work. So please don't expect the toxic, cursing-every-breath, sex-junkie alpha male type.
With that said... here we go!
Enjoy.
YOU ARE READING
Ill-Gotten Memories
RomanceIn 1980's New York, Barbara Fritz is the "meek and mild" little librarian assistant that nobody thinks twice about. Shy, soft-spoken, and ridiculously self-critical, she doesn't turn any heads. Not until she brutally kills her own father in cold blo...
