1. Every time the announcements come on say”Oh No! Not the voices again!”
2. Eliminate verbs from your vocabulary
3. Have giant coughing or sneezing fits
4. Since schools have outlawed gum. Get everyone to chew gum one day. Then at a
certain time, you should ALL blow a bubble and pop it. At the same time.
5. Every time they turn around, play charades with someone on the other side of
the room.
6. Every time they start to talk, yawn really loud
7. Ask stupid questions that have nothing to do with what they’re teaching (e.g.
Why do dogs have wet noses?)
8. Play catch with a friend across the class
9. Say "Guess what?" and when they say "What" say "Chicken butt"
10. If you're late, quote Tolkien: "A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He
arrives precisely when he means to."
11. Say to the teacher, "Excuse me, but I don't get ANY of this. If you could just
start over from the beginning-say, September?"
12. When they say “who” say “whom” even if it’s wrong.
13. Always raise your hand for every question, then, when called on reply with
something like "Sorry, I lost my train of thought."
14. Run in and yell FIRE!!!!! Or TORNADO!!! Or TSUNAMI!!! Or LANDSLIDE!!!!! Or
EARTHQUAKE!!!!! Or VOLCANO!!!!! Or RHINO!!!!! Or WAR!!!!! Or FLOOD!!!! Or CHEMICAL
SPILL!!!!! Or THE SKY IS FALLING!!!! Or ASTEROID!!!!! Or HURRICANE!!!!! Or IT'S
THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!!
15. Sit in the front desk, where your teacher can see you. Then, just start
scribbling in a notebook. When your teacher asks you, "What are you doing?" Reply
by saying, "I'm drawing. Shouldn't you be teaching instead of looking at what I'm
doing?"
16. Steal all the white-board markers and replace them with ones that won't erase
(CHAD: Again, don’t get caught.)
17. Organize a rousing chorus of "100 bottles of beer on the wall..."
18. If the teacher asks a question, jump up and down yelling "Pick me, pick me!"
and act as if you're going to die if they don't call on you. Once they do, answer
with "Orange"
19. Say, "Wait...could you repeat the last...half-hour? I wasn't paying
attention."
20. Tell a substitute teacher that "Today is my last day!" get away with anything
you like and of course if they start to try and stop you, put on a sad face, if
that doesn’t work then burst into fake tears
21. Turn in homework written in Spanish
22. Say "Seven days..." in a creepy voice.
23. Shout really random things in the middle of class. (E.g. Chow Mein, Cookie,
Bubble, Cow, etc.)
