Chapter 1

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Its been 8 months since Carlos has kidnapped me. We will be getting married in 3 months. I dont want to marry Carlos. Carlos treats me like an animal. Roadkill to be specific. He punishes me if I don't do as he says. I havent fully adjusted to it yet. Carlos has never made me have sex with him. Which is good knowing that Im still a virgin. I dont want Carlos to take it away. Carlos is a very bad person. He kills people left and right. Thats why im scared to disobey him. He would kill me.

I wish it was still how is was when i had Tom. Tom is the most feared Mafia boss. Even Carlos might fear him. I havent seen Tom in a very long time. Last time i seen him, he had dreads. I wonder if he still does. Id do anything to see Tom again. He makes me feel like im worth something. He makes me feel loved. He even makes me feel safe. Oh how i miss Tom Kaulitz.

Carlos takes me to his little "gang meet ups" or whatever they are called. He shows me off. My body. He brags about how i have such a nice body, nice curves but hes never seen me fully naked. And i hope he never does. Once Carlos took me to a huge building filled with Mafia bosses, I always tried to find Tom, Bill, Georg, or Gustav but never did. I couldnt get far with Carlos watching my every move.

Ive tried to escape once but failed. Carlos threatened that if i ever tried to leave again, he would kill me on the spot.

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