Insufferable (Tom Kaulitz)

Avoided memory

(Author note// I really hope if you're under the age of 16 you aren't reading this story. The last chapter had me concerned with how many ppl thinking sex effected a pregnancy. A penis can't enter your stomach guys it's basic sex Ed. Please find a different Tom fanfic to read as this one has mature scenes that could be upsetting!! Anyways hope you enjoy the chapter!)

I cringed at the situation I was in. I was profusely sweating and bleeding everywhere. Tom was rushing me into some apartment building bridal style.

He had to have ran up three flights of stairs before pounding on some random old door. An elderly lady opened the door and panicked when she seen me. Tom carried me inside and the lady swiped all her junk off the kitchen table.

I was laid down on the hard wooden table as the old woman propped my knees to the ceiling and removed my shorts.

I wiggled around uncomfortably trying to hide myself when Tom held my hand tightly. I looked up to him in fear and he just nodded for me to settle down.

I felt the woman's hands prying into me and exam my privates. It was humiliating. I felt a clamp enter me and the shock caused me to faint.

When I came too I woke in a pool of sweat. I looked around as the bright lights blinded me and slowly propped myself up on my elbows.

I seen Tom and the woman talking in the corner before turning their attention to me. Toms face rather disappointed. I looked down to see my shorts were put back on.

I swiftly swung my legs around the edge of the table and stabled myself on my feet. I began quickly wobbling towards the front door.

I limped quickly down the hall way and ran down the stairs, I fought the whiteness trying to form in my eyes and the dizziness in my head.

I was no longer pregnant. It wasn't that much of a surprise. My days spent in the cell id starve myself and on days where I did eat I'd force myself to throw it back up.

I wasn't ready to be a mother, I didn't want it to be like this. A part of me was slightly heartbroken at the thought of losing a child but deep down I knew I did the right thing.

I heard the woman's door slam as I ran through the stairwell. I heard toms footsteps hurdling towards me. I wobbled faster and finally made it to the main floor and darted out the door.

I was in the middle of a dark alley, not even a street lamp lit my way. I didn't make it very far without panicking about not knowing where I was going but the sound of the monster chasing closely behind me kept me moving forward.

"STOP" Tom yelled from behind me.

But I couldn't, my legs kept moving. I was terrified. The only thing keeping me alive was now gone and I knew my days would be numbered.

I turned the corner stumbling over a curb. I felt my vision get blurry again and before I could continue running Tom was behind me. His hand smothered my mouth as he pulled my back into his chest

"Knock it the fuck off" he sneered. I tried to fight against him but I was too weak.

He was lifting my feet off the ground as he dragged me back down the alley way. My hands gripping his arm as he pulled me along.

Tom threw me back into his car and locked the door. As he got in I tried the handle but he ripped me back by my hair.

"OWW" I yelped as my head jerked back.

"DID YOU DO THIS ON PURPOSE" he yelled

"DO WHAT" I screamed back.

"DID YOU KILL IT. DID YOU KILL OUR BABY"

"NO" I cried as his fists balled more of my hair.

He threw my head forward and began to bang on the steering wheel in anger. He covered his face with his hands for a moment before sliding them down his face to his chin.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with you" he mumbled.

I was silent. I didn't know how to respond. I felt a twinge of guilt about losing the baby. I chewed my lip and just looked outside. My thoughts came flooding in.

Would he kill me? Was this it? What if I did want the baby? No I didn't want that fucking thing... maybe he'll let me leave? No be realistic. You have to play the game..

"Take me home" I muttered.

Tom looked at me and nodded and we drove back to the house in mostly silence.

"Who was that woman" I asked

"She took care of my mother when she was sick. She used to be a doctor. When me and Bill moved out to Tokyo she followed us out here. She was my mothers best friend since they were kids" he explained.

I just nodded and sighed to myself. "Well what happened there"

Tom took a second and rubbed at his chin before responding.

"She Uhm. She said the baby had passed a while ago. She said your body wasn't in the right state to carry a child" his lip quivered as he spoke.

"What does that mean?" I said annoyed.

"She said it was a miracle you were even able to get pregnant in the first place"

I felt my face sink when he spoke. I crossed my arms and began to pout a bit. I began to frantically begin to claw at my face.

"Can you stop the car please" I begged

"What? no we're almost there"

"Please just I need to get out for a second"

"You can wait fi-"

"LET ME THE FUCK OUT" I jerked at the door handle.

The car came to a screeching stop and I barrelled out of the car, falling to the ground I began to sob. Flashbacks of the night I attempted to take my life flooded back.

Me and Gwen had been at a party my ex boyfriend also attended. When we arrived he stalked me the whole time. The drunker I got the closer he came. I didn't pay any attention to him though, this night I was trying to numb the pain of my mother passing still.

Long story short he managed to corner me in the women's restroom and... it was violent, he swore to me if I couldn't be his he would take away the one thing in his eyes made a woman a woman, the ability to grow life inside her.

After that night I went home and tried to kill myself. It was all to much to handle and all I wanted was to be free of pain. I haven't even told Gwen the full story. I always told her it because I missed my mother and I got too drunk not caring about living anymore.

I was on my knees on the gravel road weeping into my hands. Tom cameover and hovered over me. I couldn't tell him I was damaged. It hasn't even be a worry of mine either. I figured although the intention behind the attack was to prevent me from getting pregnant it wasn't severe enough to do so. I shoved the memory back into my skull blurring the gory details.

How horrible I felt currently was the only thing I could think of. How I didn't take care of myself while I was carrying a miracle baby. I clawed at my skin as I was filled with immense guilt.

Tom went to rest his hand on my shoulder but I was quick to flinch away from him. I toppled over falling off my knees and onto my ass. I sobbed louder.

"What did you do?" He asked

"I didn't do anything" I cried

"WHAT DID YOU DO" he yelled as he crouched down an inch from my face.

"NOTHING" I whined

"DID YOU HURT OUR BABY"

"JUST KILL ME" I shouted in his face angrily

Just then a crash of thunder boomed causing both of us to jump. Light trickles of rain fell around us as we sat there.

"Just kill me" I mumbled.