Alaímsa (English)

Chapter 1

1

I have always dreamed of a family, a mother who baked desserts, a father who told me stories, a brother who stole my last muffin, an older sister whose clothes I could steal, and grandparents who told me stories about what my parents were like. children's. I never had that, and I never will.

I have lived in Bonnie's home all my life, and although at some point I have been happy, because my friends from the orphanage are the best and the orphanage managers treat us properly. I can say that I would have been happier if I had been adopted or if my parents had never abandoned me, but you can't change destiny.

I have accepted reality and released that intense desire that only hurt me, because deep down I knew it, I knew I was not going to be adopted but I loved imagining it and it hurt to open my eyes and see reality.

On the one hand I did not feel alone, I received a lot of love and I have never lacked the essentials in this orphanage, but on the other I know that it does not feel the same, the love of your Family and the love of your friends are not even similar. I have never felt family love but I know it must feel very good.

I don't like to complain about my situation because I am very lucky, I fell into good hands, in a good orphanage, I have seen in movies how in other orphanages the children fight or the managers do not take care of the children and hardly give them food. Here we all love each other and those in charge are people who also grew up in orphanages and take pity on us and love us, we eat 3 times a day and sometimes even dessert.

But I will not deny that I would like to be adopted, but the families that come will end up taking the smallest babies.

I honestly don't understand why everyone wants babies, they are so expensive and they also have to change their diaper so many times Daily, ew.

If I wanted to adopt, I would adopt a twelve-year-old girl, so I would have to pay fewer years of school, I would not have to change diapers, or hear whining everywhere and at all times. But well, everyone with their bad tastes.

I have been on the roof since early, I feel how my warm tears roll down my cheeks that are quickly getting cold from the cold Amsterdam winter and I hear my heart break more and more.

I've been here for hours, without doing or eating anything, I don't feel like doing anything. Today is my 12th birthday and it is clear that nobody is going to adopt me anymore, since I was nine I hate my birthday, each year that passes is more painful for me, and it is that in these times, who wants to adopt an almost adult?

—Hannah, Hannah we are waiting for you, for the prayer before dinner and to celebrate your birthday.

I wiped my tears before turning around —Yes, I'm coming Angela, just give me a few minutes.

—Why are you crying my girl? —I didn't answer, I just turned and buried my face against her chest and she hugged me and understood everything. —Oh Hannah, life takes many turns, please don't give up like this.

Angela is my best friend, my biggest support because even though we are in the same situation and we both want the same thing, she is much stronger than me, and although I know she suffers for it, she doesn't show it, she cries in silence and that's how I would like to be, but I can't at all.

Bonnie have tell us how did they found us.

They only put Angela in a basket and left her at the door of the orphanage like in the movies, the basket had a label that said Angela, probably from the store where they bought the basket or the brand of the basket, but  they lack creativity for the names, so they called her like that.

—I just wanted to have a Family. My voice came out choppy.

—I know, I know, but don't cry, besides, who said we need a Family?!