Maybe I Hate The Way I Am

Ch 8 - My Love For You

"When you're all alone,
I'll reach for you,
When you're feelin' low,
I'll be there too."

"My lips,
Your lips,
Apocalypse."

-Apocalypse (Cigarettes After Sex)

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Draco Malfoy's POV:

What even are we? Me and Harry. Harry and I. We're friends again. But how can I ever tell him about my love for him. Christmas break is coming around, and I'm sure he will go to the Burrow with the Weasleys. I'm not sure if I'll go back to the Manor to mother, I do miss her dearly but there is nothing to do up there. I'm considering staying at Hogwarts, speaking it's my last year here. I have no idea what i'm going to do after this, but that's an issue for future me.

"Draco, have you decided yet? Narcissa sent you a letter asking." Pansy said, walking into his dorm.

He sighed, "I think I'll stay here, it's our last year here. I'll send her a letter. Thanks Pans."

She smiled, "Of course. Now if you'll excuse me Blaise and I have Ancient Runes while your lucky arse has free hour."

"Yeah yeah have fun with your boyfriend." I smirked.

Pansy stopped in the doorway. "I wish, huh." And she continued on her way, meeting Blaise at the bottom of the staircase.

I lowered myself into my chair and got out a piece of parchment.

Dear Mother,

I hope this letter finds you well, I'm doing alright myself. For the winter holidays I plan on staying at Hogwarts, if that's also okay with you. I love you, but I think I'll find myself happier here for now. Have a happy Christmas and New Year.

Much Love,
Draco.

I sighed as I slowly stood up and slid the letter into a fresh envelope, attaching it to my mother's owl and sending it off.

How would Harry ever love a bloke like me? I thought. After all, he was so caring to me ever since the end of the war and the incident night. And all I did was yell at him, push him away, and act like I didn't want to be his friend.

Man I really do hate the way I am. I walked out my door, and outside the castle. Heading towards the lake, which grew a lovely garden around it. I sat down in the flowers. Peace overtaking my mind.

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Pansy Parkinson's POV:

Ugh that Malfoy. Of course he had to tease me about Blaise, i've loved the bloke since 6th year and he hasn't stopped. But Blaise seems to like Astoria Greengrass, I think. I mean he's talking to her more often now.

When I reach the bottom of the staircase I see them chatting quietly amongst themselves, jealousy filling my heart. But I start to feel my heart beating in my chest when I hear Blaise say

"I know I know! I'll tell her how I feel today. I promise."

"You better! You've liked her since forever, and your best friends with her too-" I hear Astoria's voice.

"Shh! She's coming down!" I smile to myself.

Maybe I do have a chance.

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