Insufferable (Tom Kaulitz)

My happy little pills

I spent the next couple days in bed. Recovering is what everyone in the house called it. The only place I felt at peace was in my dreams, even the nightmares felt safer than real life.

Tom let me stay in his bed but he never joined me. It was nice being alone however, for once I didn't crave his touch. I felt myself getting more and more resentful.

This entire time I had tricked my brain into wanting this. Trying to find blips of happiness in the chaos that was considered my new life. Trying to find comfort in a crazed murderous kidnapper.

I was tired now, exhausted.

I didn't eat a lot, no one's seemed to notice though which is nice. It's nice being able to sulk by yourself without someone harassing you to eat more.

I just laid there, snuggled into the sheets staring at the ceiling or occasionally myself in the mirror. The only time I really got up was to use the washroom.

I heard the bedroom door click and in walked Melanie. Her silhouette walking towards me. She sat on the edge of the bed and pushed my hair behind my ear.

"Toms hasn't been home lately, would you like to spend time with me and Gwen downstairs" she sighed.

"Not really" I mumbled.

"Cmon, we gave you your space for a few days, come downstairs" she hummed

I groaned and rolled over to the other side, the peace I once had now disturbed.

I got up and made my way downstairs to the kitchen. Gwen sat at the kitchen followed by Melanie.

"Jeez Tully I didn't know heroin chic was your thing" Gwen scoffed,

Melanie slapped her in the arm hard enough to make a loud smacking sound.

"Ow, what the fuck was that for?" Sneered Gwen.

"She just lost a Fuckin baby you bitch" hushed Melanie.

I think she meant only for Gwen to hear but I twinged at the thought.

I grabbed a banana on the counter and slowly nibbled away at it, washing down every bite with a sip of old coffee.

"So where is everyone" I asked

"They went on a business trip somewhere, I don't know dealing drugs or something" Gwen said sarcastically

"Nice nice" I muttered back.

"Why don't we play a game" Melanie piped in.

I rolled my eyes "actually I'm feeling pretty exhausted I think I'm going to go back to bed"

"Tully you just got up, cmon it'll be fun" she pouted.

"Okay" I walked over pulling out a chair "what game are we playing?"

Melanie's face lit up and she began to tap the table repeatedly with her finger tips.

"Let's play.." she pondered

"Let's play never have I ever" Gwen chimed in

Melanie nodded and gave a small smile.

"Never have I ever... gone skinny dipping" Gwen asked

We all raised our hands.

"My turn.. never have I ever.. got black out drunk" Melanie asked next

Again we all put our hands up.

Now it was my turn "never have I ever..." my voice was raspy and strained as I spoke "never have I ever tried to kill myself" I laughed, the question sounded better in my head.