loosing control

chapter 1 - moving

  hi my names nick and i have a boyfriend called milo and im going to be sharing my back story with you.

  me and milo have been friends since pre-school sadly he has problems with calming his emotions due to him going missing for more then 2 years, it can sometimes have really bad diffeculties calming down when they have been triggered, this is only when he isnt around me. i think the people who kidnapped him did something bad to him but he never told me what they did but anywyas.
  we are going to the same college and neither of us can afford to pay for the dorms so the director let us stay in an appartment nearby untill we get the money.
  we go back to our own homes to pack then my sister pick milo up on the way to the appartments. when we get to milos house his mum is saying goodbye then waves at him on his way to the car. when milo gets into the car i start teasing him about what his mum did and i can see his face go bright red in embarrisment which i found really funny.
  we get to the appartment and i wave my sister goodbye then i start to admire the garden. milo is the first to walk in as im still looking at the garden. milo then calls me into the appartment so i start walking in but as soon as i get through the door milo starts have one of his eoisodes where his emotions go through the roof. i walk over to him but he just yells at me telling me to go before he hurts me again but i dont move.
     "milo calm down im here"
he just looks at me without saying. anything like he doesnt understand me.
     "hey milo can you hear me !"
he looks at me again with confusion.
      "MILO, look at me!!"
his eyes shot straight to make eye contact with mine and put his hand on my shoulder and started squeezing it really hard.
      "h- hey let go that hurts!"
      "why so loud"
      "oh i dont know maybe because you have a really tight grip on my shoulded and it hurts"
      "do you want me to loosen my grip?"
i cant tell want emotion it is that had skye rocketed because it was like 3 dufferenr ones mixed together: love, anger and sorrow. but i know it has to be one of them since it cant be 2 or more its only 1 at a time.
       "is that even a question!? of cource i want you to let go your hurting me!!!"
       "i wanna hold you forever though!"
ok so that gets rid of the anger emotion but adds another one on, panic. i cant ask milo what he is feeling before you ask me because he is basicaly in a transe when he is like this, its like his emotions get the best of him and take control.
        "hey milo listen to me calm down its ok im here... im always here! im not gonna leave you i promise"
        "you promise?"
        "yes i promise!"
and i think i found out what it was this time.... panic. he got himself worked up because he couldnt see me for he started to have a minor panic attack.

(hi! i have 0 motervation :) my brain is not coping rn! also im getting very distracted by rats that are in the celling (dont worry we are getting then sorted out) hope yall are doing well cya in the next chapter)