Brallie:One Shot

"I Just Cant"

I looked over at Brandon's face. So beautiful and precious. I don't want to do this to him. He doesn't deserve this, he doesn't deserve me. I am broken and damaged. Brandon needs to be with someone who can be with him all the time. I need, I want to be adopted by the Fosters they love me in a way that Brandon can't give me. He can only give me the type of love I can get from a boyfriend. I need a family. I need to be with Jude.
Brandon needs to be with Lou. Even though it will kill me everyday to see him with her.
I just cant. I cant do this to Jude.
I look at Brandon one more time as I kiss his forehead as I wake him up from his slumber.
Ca-callie whats going on.
He says as he wakes up and turns the light on.
When he looks at me, I feel tears trickle down my cheeck.
Callie, whats wrong.
I feel as if I cant talk, I just stand there and let more tears pour out of my eyes. More coming after another.
Callie.
Brandon says finally before getting out of his bed and looking at me, wiping the tears off my cheecks.
Brandon..I just wanted to tell you that. I hurt everyday when I see you with Lou. I just cant anymore. I know that you are suppose to be my brother but...I love you too much. It makes me melancholy when I see you, with someone who makes you happy. I could have been that girl. I am sorry Brandon. I am so sorry. At the Winter Dance, I should have told you the truth. I didnt have sex with Wyatt, I did want a family but I wanted you also. I realize that I cant have both. I love you too much for you to get caught in my mess. I am reckless, destructive, careless, impetous...the point is Brandon, you deserve someone better. I Just Cant. Brandon. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, and I need to get over the fact that we can NEVER be toegther and that is sonething I have to deal with.
When Im finished talking there are tears eveywhere, my white undershirt soaked with my tears.
I start again.
My eyes are tired of crying every night. This will be the last night I cry myslef to sleep. The last night I regret every opportunity I had with you, the last night I beat myslef up, The last night here, in this house where you are a constant reminder of my mistakes. Brandon...I just cant anymore.

When Im done even more tears are all over my face my mascara that I thought I wasked off this evening is now all over my face. My curls sticking to my face.
I see Brandons mouth start to open. When he dosent say anything he just goes over to his keyboard and starts playing notes and begins singing.

~
Look we gotta talk
Dang I know
I know it's just
It's just...
Some things I gotta get of my chest alright....
Yeahhhh...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, whoa...
Listen..

Baby come here and sit down, let's talk
I got a lot to say so I guess I'll start by
Saying that I love you,
But you know, this thing ain't been
No walk in the park for us
I swear it'll only take a minute
You'll understand when I finish, yeah
And I don't wanna see you cry
But I don't wanna be the one to tell you a lie so

How do you let it go? When you,
You just don't know? What's on,
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it
Everything I tried to remember to say
Just went out my head
So I'ma do the best I can to get you to understand
'cause I know

There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you, it's me
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye

Girl I know your heart is breaking
And a thousand times I
Found myself asking, "Why? Why?"
Why am I taking so long to say this?
But trust me, girl I never
Meant to crush your world
And I never
Thought I would see the day we grew apart
And I wanna know

How do you let it go? When you,
You just don't know? What's on,
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it
Girl I hope you understand
What I'm tryna say.
We just can't go on
Pretending that we get along
Girl how you not gonna see it?

There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me.
I kinda gotta figure out what I need
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye

Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can't do it
I, I just can't do it
Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can't do it
And sometimes it makes me wanna cry
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Do you hear me crying?
Oh, oh, oh

There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me.
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye

There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you it's me.
I kinda gotta figure out what I need (oh)
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Cause there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye"~

When Brandon is finished with the song I couldnt stop crying.
He gets up and walks towards me.

Callie, I cant promise you that you will have the best life but I can promise you that you will find someone that loves you for you. You will find your true love. Maybe in the next 5 years we might end up together, I dont know. Right now Callie, your right. Your gonna be my sister and I cant say that all my feelings for you are lost but all of them arent there. I love you Cal, always will as a sister and the love of my life..but now we just cant. You just cant, I just cant.

Brando finishes as he kisses me with a sweet tender kiss. I kiss him back with all that I have and it turns out into a make out session, which gets heated very quickly while we are still kissing, I end up on his lap on his bed. We countine kissing until I take off his shirt and he takes off mine. The rest is history.
In the morning, the sun beams threw Brandons window as I feel his pec near my face, its not until I focus and realize that we fell asleep. No,no,no,no,no,no,no. This is only gonna make me love him more.

I quickly get up put my clothes on and write Brandon a letter.

Dear Brandon,
Last night...was a mistake. Im leaving because what happened last night will only make me love you more. I just cant do that. Its not fair to you or me. Im sorry. I love you, Forever and Always.
-Callie
P.S good job last night ;)

When Im finished I pack up my stuff and head to Roberts
house. It may not be what I want but its better for everyone. I will try to like Roert, I will try to get a boyfriend, I will try to get over Brandon, I will try to not love him anymore, I will try to forget about him. I will forgive myslef for falling in love with him and not being able to get out. I feel like Im in a trap, I can never get out of. I will forget Brandon.
Just gIve me time and iLl get OVEr YOU.

Song: Say Goodbye Chris Brown
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A/N: What did you guys think of this one?
Do you see the message at the end.