୨⎯ Prologue ⎯୧
When the first human was created, she was made complete in her wholeness. She wasn't lacking nor was she flawed. She was perfect in a sense. However, a sudden adversity hit the first human causing her to split into two. Her mind, her consciousness, her soul, and her body was divided and was separated from each other. Her left was stranded in an island whereas her right was lost inside a forest. Eras went by until her divided sides became whole again.
Lagi kinukwento sa akin 'yon ni mommy simula pa noong bata ako. She used to say na every one of us has a soulmate, we're just not aware of it. Just like the first human, we are on a journey to find that soulmate. And once we find that someone, this unexplainable feeling of completeness will be felt by us.
But I didn't believe in that. I believe that I'm already whole. Hindi ako naniniwala sa mga gan'yan!
"Class, naniniwala ba kayo na our life is predetermined or is it ruled by free will?" Humarap ang professor sa'min and asked with a voice loud enough for us to focus our attention to him.
Our professor in Philosophy is known for calling people with index cards. He was the type to always juice out an answer from a student. Sir Liam isn't really super strict, but his presence kind of just imposes extreme pressure to us kaya parang 'strict' ang dating niya.
My classmates often get scared kapag Tuesdays kasi do'n ang subject n'ya pero I just comfort them by saying it's part of being a HUMSS Student. Though sometimes, 'di mo talaga maiiwasan na hindi kabahan, kahit nga ako eh.
Sir took out our index cards and started shuffling.
Ramdam ko na naman na kinakabag ako. I kept on fidgeting my fingers. Hindi ako mapakali! Lahat kami natatahimik tuwing subject ni Sir kasi sino ba naman excited sa recitation?! Magaling si Sir magturo, pero iba lang talaga feeling kapag may index card na involved. Nakakaloka!
Nagdasal ako sa loob-looban ko na sana hindi ako mapili. Kaya ko naman sagutan 'yong tanong pero ayaw ko rin kasi nakakatakot at baka pag-isipan ako ng mali ng mga kaklase ko kapag may nasabi akong hindi maganda.
Mabibigat ang bawat paghinga ko habang pinapanuod si Sir maghalo ng cards. Please po Lord! 'Wag po ako!
"Okay..." kinuha ni Sir ang card ng lucky person at hinanap saglit sa classroom. Ngingiti na sana ako nang bigla kami nagkatinginan.
Putangina naman!
"Yes Clara! I want to hear your insights!" Nakangiting sigaw ni Sir. Habang ako, dying inside!
Bwiset ha! Bakit ako pa!
I stood up slowly while plastering an awkward smile. 'Wag kang kabahan Clarette! This is just a recitation, you're smart you got this!
I like our Philosophy subject naman talaga, it's the recitations that I dislike. I mean, I like reciting kung alam ko 'yong sagot. Hindi 'yong binibigla ako! I looked around my classmates and saw them intently gazing at me.
I heaved a small quiet sigh and prepared myself.
"I believe we act based on our own free will," I said softly, "I mean, life is a space of randomness and it's beauty comes from it's spontaneity and vagueness I guess..." I looked at my classmates again and saw them nodding their heads. It's good I got some people to agree with me.
Tumatango-tango si Sir. "So you don't believe in destiny then?" Pinipiga ako ah.
"No I don't," I confidently declared, "I feel like when we say that life is destined, we're minimizing life as a whole. Well, like I said earlier, life is big and random. I personally think we shouldn't restrict life in an idea that life is in the hands by the strings of destiny..." I smiled awkwardly and waited for Sir's response.
