The special one

How do i feel about you.

I've always felt pretty alone in this world, never fitting in anywhere.

At school, I was known by anyone yet nobody knew me...always the girl that could bring fun and joy and could stand up for herself but nobody knew me deep down. If they knew...how lonely I always felt...

'Hey girl, how are you!' A girl came up to me and sat down just across from me. 'Hey Jill, I'm fine.' Jill looked me up and down and the expression on her face told me she did not believe a word I said. 'Dude, you look as white as a damn vampire and you sound like somebody just told you that your dog has been run over by a bus full of penguins, what's wrong with you?' Jill looked at me waiting for an answer but I just could not tell her what was going on in my mind, at least not everything. 'I have been studying all night for the test today and my parents were fighting until three in the morning so I didn't get that much sleep.' Jill was my only best friend that has been there for most of my life. we met in kindergarten and hit it off instantly. we became best friends and have been for the past 16 years.

'why didn't you text or call me? You know you can always sleep over at my house and besides my parents aren't really at home that much..always on stupid business trips...' Jill said with a mocking tone in her voice. ' I know but I can't always call you when my parents fight, I mean I would practically live at your house then and you would drive me crazy because you would always ask me to be your fitting puppet for a weird project you have to do in that fashion subject of yours.' i said snickering at the thought of living with Jill. Don't get me wrong, she is an amazing friend but she can be a lot sometimes. 'Hey! You love it when I show you the clothes I made! you always tell me how cool they are!' Jill said while crossing her arms and sitting back looking at me with that fake angry face. ' Are we gonna argue now Stuart? you know I love it when you show me your work! I'm just not in for being your puppet.' I shrugged and sat back. 'Besides Stuart, you couldn't live with me because if my memories are correct you called me a chaotic person.' I looked at her like I just won the debate and I could see that Jill knew I just cornered her. Jill rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders, ' Fine you win Miller, but I only called you that because your clothes are literally everywhere on the floor in your room!' I laughed at her reaction and suddenly I felt a little tap on my shoulder.

When I turned around I was met with the most beautiful eyes in the whole world. 'ehm...hi, Natasha, right? I'm Rachel, I'm in your science class. I'm new here and well I don't really have friends and I was wondering if it would be okay if I sat with you?' I couldn't really bring words up because I was just blown away by those crystal blue eyes but luckily Jill was fast enough to answer before I could speak. 'Of course, you can sit with us! I'm Jill Stuart by the way, I'm in fashion.' Rachel came to sit next to me and instantly Jill put out her hand. 'Nice to meet you, I'm in biological science so I have some classes together with Natasha.' Rachel smiled at me and still speechless I managed to get some words out. 'yeah eh, I've seen you around...oh and you can call me Nat by the way.' I stuttered and I could see in the corner of my eyes that Jill had to suppress a giggle. Rachel smiled and looked intensely into my eyes, 'Nat it is then.' I just stared like I was hypnotized and couldn't break eye contact. Just as Jill was about to ramble on again about something the bell rang and I snapped back to reality. 'It was nice to meet you Jill!' she stood up and looked at me, 'And I'll see you around classes Nat.' and with that, Rachel walked away. I swear she knew I was looking at her and just before she walked into her classroom she looked over her shoulder and winked at me.

'Damn she is hot' Jill said and I turned back around to face her. 'I don't know, she seems nice.' I said trying to play it cool and hide my blush. 'No offense Miller but your head has just gotten its color back and turned all red, your blushing and I have seen the stutter. you are totally into her, she might be into you, Tash.' Jill leaned back into her chair and started playing with her nails. 'First of all, stop calling me a vampire or I'll give you a reason to run, second I'm not blushing that is my natural color and third....I'm not into her.' I said looking down at the table. Jill leaned in closer to me and with a wicked smile, she looked at me, 'Whatever you say Miller but if you're not going to ask that redhead out I'm going to do it and we both know you hate it when I snack on your pretty girls, right Miller.' she sat back and watched my face, studying my features knowing just what I'm thinking. I looked at Jill and could see that she was enjoying the comeback she just made, 'You are disgusting, please never say snacking will you, and I'm not going to ask a girl out that I have just spoken to, besides...I can't.' looking down at my fingers I could feel that Jill softened and she started to feel guilty. Jill took my hand and started to rub it, ' I'm sorry...I did not mean to push you I just thought that you might fancy her because of the way you looked at her.' I could feel the guilt in Jill's words and I know she felt bad for what she said. 'It's not your fault okay and your right it's been a while now so maybe it's a good thing to start over.' I said while looking up. Jill sighed and leaned back into her seat, 'She did you nasty but not all men and women are the same, give it a try, and if it's too early then you can go back to i-don't-know what it is but this' Jill waved her arms between me and her, ' it ain't working hunny and I don't wanna see my best friend depressed and sad. I'm not pushing you, okay maybe a little but I just want my happy girl back and right now I just have a best friend who is just as dead as Benjamin Franklin and he is dead-dead hunny.' I had to smile at her stupid reference but I know she's right. Ever since Laila and I broke up I've been feeling depressed and not myself so maybe giving it a try is not that bad. 'Don't you have a class to go to, jeez Shakespeare?' I joked, 'Nope, I have free until last period so wanna grab an ice cream or can't vampires eat dairy?' Jill joked and I had to laugh, 'alright alright let's grab one and also I actually have to research on that if they could eat dairy.' i laughed and we stood up to get ice cream.