My English assessment because I'm dumb

Intro

(This was meant to be gothic lol but oh well I actually wrote this and got 10/60)

One tragic day Riley (me) Ava (10) and Katie(9) were chilling out being chaotic near a tree like we usually are. "Katie,why are you putting the danger alarm off?" Asked Ava. (The alarm Is when we shake a tree showing danger) "there's a fire truck" Katie replied. Soon,the sky turned a deep,dark grey. A rush of wind swept through the mucky air. A heap of rain suddenly showed down,soaking us in salty raindrops. "I swear to gosh grandmas gonna kill us so we better go before she skins us alive!" I said sarcastically. We started on our way back to my grandmas house,battling the winds about to make us fly away. As soon as we managed to get around the corner,we got pushed into the garden of the house that was always just sitting there neglected that hadn't had anyone live there since 1990 or something with rats under the wooden fence. The door was locked as soon as we stood up. "Great now grandmas gonna kill us" Katie said clearly unhappy on the current situation. A mysterious,Smokey figure slowly melted down,revealing it's true identity. It was Kim Kardashian! (My teacher wrote that "it is not appropriate to bring real figures into your writing") "What the heck?!" Ava exclaimed as she was more surprised as me when my maths teacher didn't shout at somebody for a entire lesson. I was just trying not to laugh. Then she started to sing "singing,dancing,rearranging furniture" and this activated a trap which caused the floor to crumble apart. (I wrote this 14/2/22 alright 😭✋) "ARE YOY JOKING?!" yelled Ava at the top of her lungs,clearly nothing other than frustrated. "I made an axe earlier we can use" said Katie in response to Ava's yelling. After a few bashes,the door finally fell of,thudding louder than lighting and thunder. "Can we stay in here a bit so I can make us some weapons?" Katie asked. "Sure" I replied as Ava was just ranting under her breath. Around 1 hour and 35 minutes later after chatting to Ava the entire time Katie finally had finished. She had made us swords and shields out of rusty nails,metal,wood,leather and some PVA glue from who knows when.