Sirinoel // Sirius and his relationship with Trauma (and Noel)

trauma and some kissies??😍🙏

A cold feeling seeped into his stomach, as if someone had dunked him in ice-cold water. He sat up abruptly, clutching the sheets. He was sweating, and his breathing was becoming rapid. Sirius tried to get a hold of his surroundings, but it was hard to focus. He brought a hand to his heart, shutting his eyes. He was okay... The incident happened 12 years ago. The bearded man is gone, he's dead. He can't hurt you.

But the man had hurt someone close to him. And Sirius had felt just as hurt, both physically and mentally. Lady Dorothy had taken him in after his parents had died, and she took care of him just as if he had been her own. She had comforted him after he had nightmares, and oh how he wished she could do it now. Maybe she would read a book to him, just as she had all those years ago.

His breathing became worse, and his heart beat faster. He couldn't stand being in the same room Lady Dorothy was murdered in any longer. He sat on the corner of the bed and pulled his socks on.

Sirius usually didn't walk around the halls at night, but the nightmare had really gotten him. Even if it had been over a decade ago, he still remembered clearly all the disembodied people. How the organs splayed on the wall -all the eyes that were gouged out- and the way it was decorated as if the display of organs held the same innocence as Christmas decorations. It was all too much, so he went up the stairs and knocked on Noel's door.

He was nervous, he hadn't spoken to him much about their past, except for the time Noel told him that he was his childhood friend and how Claire had forgotten both them and Lady Dorothy. Which is exactly why he went to Noel; Claire wouldn't understand, she didn't remember Lady Dorothy, and wouldn't know the pain of her being gone. After all, she thought Lady Dorothy was the one who killed all those people 12 years ago.

He knocked on the door again, hearing shuffling and movement inside the room.

"Y-yes?" Noel called out.

"It's me." He said, hoping the fact that they were childhood friends would be enough for Noel to let him in. It was late at night, but that shouldn't be a problem for Noel, he thought.

"Oh, one moment..." He heard more movement from the room, and then the door opened, revealing a stunned Noel.

"Excuse me, I don't know why I came here..." Sirius muttered. He shouldn't have come looking disassembled and as if he's about to burst into tears any moment, revealing such weak emotions. He felt pathetic. "I shall go now-" And just as he was about to leave he felt a hand wrap around his wrist, pulling him in the room.

"It's okay, Sirius. I don't mind you being here, but... I must admit I am curious as to why." Noel nervously laughed, scratching his cheek. Sirius stood there for a moment, breathing. Breathing. And then when he saw the look on Noel's face it reminded him of Mayor Nicholas. How he laughed after murdering those people, and how it didn't affect him at all, how he liked it. How he seemed to have enjoyed decorating the room with the people's organs. How he killed Lady Dorothy feeling no remorse. He enjoyed it. He was a cruel person.

"S-Sirius...!?!" Sirius was brought back to reality, and just then did he feel cold, wet tears rolling down his cheeks. How embarrassing. Truly. He looked at Noel, who was looking at him with a worried expression, his hands up in the air in alert.

"Ah... How foolish of me." He muttered, wiping away his tears. He hated showing weakness, but also longs to cry, to let it all out. But he won't give in, he can't let Noel see him like this. "I'll go now." But before he could even turn around, he felt arms wrap around his shoulders, and that was really the last button needed to be pressed as he sobbed into Noel's shoulder.

"Sirius..." Noel whispered, clutching Sirius tighter to him. Sirius' breath hitched as he sobbed into his childhood friend's shoulder. He felt weak. Weak for not being able to save Lady Dorothy, weak for not standing up to himself, weak for letting his emotions get the best of him. He hiccuped, and shoved his face further into his neck, trying to hide his embarrassment.