Sleeping with Park Jimin

Sleep tight.

I was content with my life.
I had always enjoyed feeling his weight on me, it was always so comforting and warm.
There was something about him that just created a soothing atmosphere, his presence was a blessing.
Everything was perfect.
Occasionally, in the dead of night, he would roll over all the way to my other side when it got too hot for him during the summer.

During the day, he would always jump on me when he was joking around with Taehyung, those two would always tease each other and play fight, some how always managing to end up on me.
They seemed to enjoy my little bounce.

We were happy, Jimin slept well as I had remained soft and bouncy, and he kept me warm.
Some days when he woke up in the morning he would just lay on me and stare at the ceiling, slowly breathing and thinking about the long day ahead of him. I could feel the air make its way through him with every inhale and exhale, I would listen out for the rhythm in his breathing and struggle to sync it with mine.

Other days he would roll off of me instantly in a panic, as he realised he was running late for practice.

One day he brought a female friend over and they sat on me together... I wasn't her's to sit on, and her weight didn't feel nice on me.
She was nice, and pretty, and cute, and smart and petite- she was all the he could hope for, and he was all that she could hope for.
A match made in heaven is what it was.
They always laughed and played together, they would sit on me as they watched movies together. They even shared secrets with each other.
They become close, they became important to eachother.
They were the kind of couple that could just veg out on the sofa and not exchange words but still be content with each other's presence. The kind of couple that strangers would stop and think, "Wow she's so beautiful, he's so handsome. I hope they marry soon and bring beautiful little gifts of babies into this world.".

The kind of couple that everyone loved and everyone supported.

Of course, I didn't like sharing Jimin with her and, as my jealousy grew watching them love each other, my springs began to rust, suddenly I stopped being so soft and my bounce wasn't so bouncy anymore.
Jealousy is truly an evil little monster. But I hung in there.
His smile was the dawn of my everyday and his laughter was the only fuel helping me through this rough road.

It went on like this for a while, it was agonising... but at least he was smiling more, right?
He would smile into my soft outer layer as he thought about her before going to sleep. I've never seen him smile so much before and it was the most beautiful smile in the world.
All smiles are beautiful, but this one, felt like a warm hug on a cold December night. This one was special, and she knew that too.

Then out of the blue, she stopped coming over- and everyday Jimin would lay on me for hours, staring blankly at his phone- occasionally punching me to let out his frustration, every time he punched my springs would groan in pain. He was strong and the punches stung but I endured it since it was helping him relieve his pain.
He tried to hold it all in, I know he did. However, it was just far too difficult for him to act as though nothing at happened.

The worst part was that instead of sleeping at night, he started crying at night, his tears would soak into me, and I could taste the salty sadness, and that: I could not endure.
His nights began with desperate whispers noted to himself; sounding the words "my fault."
But it wasn't his fault.

He began sleeping even less, moving less, smiling less, eating less... It was just less Jimin, the pain had taken over for him and with his pain my pain grew greater. I missed seeing him smile. The sound of his laughter was nothing but a distant memory to me.

No more smiling, no more laughter, no more rolling out of bed in a panic, no more friends over, no more dancing around, no more happiness, no more emotion- just no more.
The girl was gone and I guess you could say- so was Jimin.

I was no longer soft nor bouncy so Jimin could no longer sleep nor sit on me with content. This was far worse than you'd imagine, he already couldn't sleep and I wasn't helping his progressing insomnia.

He became restless, and I felt horrible as I was of no use. Then one morning the door bell rang and I was lifted up then carried away by strange strong men, I knew what was happening.
I was being tossed away.
Jimin threw me away because I was no longer soft. Because I was no longer any use to him.
He threw me away, but it's okay.

Jimin,
I'm going to miss your warmth, your smile and your laughter, I'm going to miss your presence, your existence, your breath- the art that is you.

I hope you sleep well, eat well, live well,
laugh well and smile well on your new mattress.
I'm sorry I couldn't help you endure the pain.
I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you.

You're amazing, and for not realising that- you're a fool and although it could never be me, I hope you find that one person to complete you and never leave you.

I forgive you for replacing me, it was for the best, and you deserve the best, goodbye.
Sleep tight.