Behind the Screen

Chapter 1

I waited. I waited.. I waited... I.. waited... Waiting was a ritual thing for me to do in the tiny, rickety bed that sat in the corner of my room. Waiting... as the sun slowly slithered under ground and the moon shot up into the ever increasing gloom that hung over my house. Waiting...... staring out my window at the single ebony lamppost emitting a dying yellow light, but standing like a proud soldier in the line of fire. I was waiting...... for that one final text from....Harper. Oh how I just dreamed of the day we could finally be together. Swinging through the brisk air on a crisp autumn day at that park we had once loved back when we were kids. Jostling each other back and forth in the cold, pouring rain, my coat slumped over her shoulders and her big blue eyes staring back at me, with some sort of love, or adoration. Sobbing in each others arms in front of the dimming fire, salty, steamy tears rolling down our cheeks, comforting each other over the horrible news that would stitch our paths together. Such a magnificent concept. That good, could come from bad. This was in absolute terms, the story of my life. I looked at my phone and finally in little white words it said Hope you dream well and have an amazing Goodnight! :) I stared at the screen and started typing with my hands. I. I paused. love I paused again. u. I gawked at the shining screen with the words I love u swirling around in my head. My thumb hovered over the send button. I inched closer and closer trying to be faster than the fear and self-doubt before it beat me to the send. My thumb suddenly stopped. I knew I couldn't do this. If I hadn't been able to do it in school, how was I supposed to do it now. I erased the whole message, and substituted it for Goodnight. I gazed up at the ceiling above me. Although the shadows spread across the room, I could still see the pattern on the top of the ceiling. I thought back to the olden days, when Harper came over to the house and played. I remembered the sweet smell of hot apple cider downstairs, as our fathers stirred their cups and watched our amazed faces as our moms poured out the beverage into small porcelain cups. I missed those days. Our fathers had been such amazing people, proud Americans; hunters, fishermen, best friends. My eyes started to water as I screamed out for my dad. My voice screeched and howled as my former mental stability shattered and the demons that tortured me gushed out. I slammed my hands against the wall screaming for my father to return. My blood started to flow from the newly formed wounds on my hands, and the door slammed open. My mother ran over to me as I started to whimper. She wrapped her motherly arms around me as I curled up into a ball. My whimpering continuously went down, until my mother and I were in a strong embrace surrounded by darkness and silence. Through the glimmer of moonlight that faded into my room, I could see my mother's face. Saggy, old, but full of wisdom and beauty from within. I could assure anyone if dad was still here, she would have been stunning. These were the moments I loved. Moments where both of our silence were matched and the universe seemed to halt around us. My mom made a gesture with her hands. I love you.

"I love you too," I whispered back. She got up from the covers and walked over to the light switch. My light slowly faded on, and the shadows slowly retreated to the corners of the room. My mother stood there, proud and bold. You would never be able to tell she was disabled. She started moving her hands like a skilled violinist and I could just barely understand what she was trying to communicate.

"Dominic..." she said with her hands. "I love you so much. But you need to talk to me."

"Mom," I sighed. "It's hard to talk to you, when you can't even talk to me."

"But I can Dominic," she started to say, but I stopped her.

"No! Not like you use to. Not like a normal mom..." The silence hovered around my ears, whispering, telling me I didn't deserve this. Telling me I deserved a normal mom. My mom's proud shoulders stumbled and she crawled out of the room obviously defeat by what I had said. I got out of bed, turned off the lights, and wriggled back under the covers. I started to hum to myself. A song that my mom use to sing back when she could actually make a sound come out of her mouth. The words seemed to creep out of the floor boards, and I could hear my mother singing again.

"I love you. Oooooooooo. I love you. Ooooooooooo. You are my everything. All I am depends on you. You're here for me, right now. You're more than enough..." I sat in the silence again. Silence... the one thing that corroded that song, and destroyed it, including the memory of the ending. I closed my eyes and prayed in my head.

"If you can here me, which I don't know cause I've never done this before but could you please just help me out? Could you help me remember the rest of that song?" I sighed, and then I laughed. Prayer seemed to never work, why would it work now. Drowsiness started to set upon me and I drifted away into a life that was better than reality. The next morning my alarm woke me up. The same song that woke me up every morning was surprisingly not on. This time the song Take Me Back by April sang out. The music hypnotically kept me in the bed as I listened to it. The song talked about some girl that had treated her friend like a jerk and she wanted him back. I laughed. How did these singers even make money? I pulled the covers up and stepped out of bed. The dry wood, rough at the touch, brushed against my callused feet. I straightened out my bed, and walked out the room, and headed for the kitchen. The smell of waffles guided me to the small plastic kitchen table. My mouth dribbled as I looked at the half golden-half black waffles with a single droplet of whipped cream. I was really happy. This was one of the best things that happened during a school week. I slid down into the chair, and dug in. My mom came out of the restroom, with a washcloth in her hand.

"Thanks mom," I said as I stuffed my mouth with the half burnt waffles.

"You're welcome," she signed back. "I'm glad you like them." As she walked away, I thought to myself. I know I didn't have the best cook for a mom, but I knew that she has payed every last penny for this one waffle, and that she poured all of the love she had into them. As I gulped up the last bite, I got up and threw the paper plate back into the trash can. I ran into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As I looked into the mirror, I saw my dad. Well I saw me. But I saw my dad in me, and I don't know... it all hit me in that moment. I stumbled back into the shower and cried my eyes out. I missed my dad so much. It was like a part of me was destroyed and left the biggest hole. I missed my dad... I missed my dad... I got out of the shower and I looked at myself again. No longer strong like my dad, but hurt and weak, with red, puffy eyes. I dressed in my favorite gray shirt and jeans and walked toward the closet with all my father's stuff. My hand rested on the doorknob, scared to open and see that everything had disappeared from the last time. I opened the door, and his hunting coat hung on the wire coat hanger. I picked it up, and put my arms through the jacket. It stilled smelled of my dad. A rich smoky smell. I loved it. I ran back to my room and pushed the light switch up. I ran over to my book bag and swung it onto my back. I ran out through the back, because I needed to see Rodger, my dog. I slowly came up to the giant gray stone, and I sat down.

"Hey Rodger," I said. "How ya doin boy?" No answer. I laughed. I had done this for a year now and it seemed to be like a joke to me now. But he still was my dog, and I missed him.

"I love you boy," I sighed. I got up, rubbed the dirt off my hands, and ran inside. I looked at the calendar.

"Okay ummm November 25," I said to myself. "I have that chess match later today." My mom passed by and I caught the sign out of the corner of my eye.

"You're such a nerd." I walked next to her and put my arm around her. "Yeah but I'm your nerd," I said nudging her over.

"Do you want me to walk you to the bus?" She signed. Panic suddenly spread through my body, but I controlled myself from spazzing out.

"No," I said. "I like walking to the bus by myself, it's peaceful."

"Ok. It's your loss." I walked outside of the house and walked on the rocks toward the bus. Everyone was staring out the windows at me. Harper, Jerry, Shiloh, Steve. Suddenly I heard a groaning and my heart sunk. I turned around, now only five feet from the bus, and my mother stood there with a grin on her face.

"I love you and be good," she signed. Everyone on the bus started to snicker, and I turned around entering on the bus with a red face. Everyone started to laugh, and Craig stood up on his seat.

"Look who it it! The mute's son!" He screamed.