I look to the world
Instead of looking to you Lord
I didn't read the Psalm today
I'm afraid to ask your mercy this time
I'm afraid of what you'll say
I fear I've let you down again
Why do I purposely wallow in self pity
It's like, I wanna be sad right now God I'll call you when I'm through
You know that's what I do
God, why do you put up with me
Why don't you give up on me
Father, once I asked for you to give me a pure heart. Is it too late
Am I a hopeless case
Once I had peace of mind
Now I just want out of the mess I made in here.
It's been bad before, really bad. But never like now. I'm all that and more.
Do we ever change
It's always there
Dogging my steps
Eating me from the inside out
It's killing me
Who's going to die first
I made some promises
I want to keep my promises to you Jesus.
I found a seed and planted it,
I fed it day and night but never stopped to think what it would grow into.
It's a monster.
It's so big now I can't move around in here without waking it up.
I thought it was harmless, but I think it's going to consume me, like we will soon merge into one.
And the monster will be me.
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2021
