heartless | dreamnotfound

six

i sit alone once again, the bus was meant to be around early morning and frankly i didn't want to wait that long yet i had to choice. i didn't even know where i was going i was just. going. i didn't have a plan other than to visit my father that lived close by but i was dreading that although hes all i have left. we didn't exactly leave on great terms considering how i fled the country with a girl. hopefully we could discuss it but i wasn't sure what to ever say to him. 

i look down at my hand, the cut is steep; pulsating almost. it was best for me to get it fixed soon to avoid infection even though i had bigger problems to focus on. my eyes flutter as i watch the empty streets and street lights flicker occasionally, no one seemed to be out this late at night. i reached down into my open bag and pulled my phone out, the screen flashing me the time and background photos of the morning skies in florida over the ocean water. 

i gasped trying to think properly yet there was no way without my mind being so swollen to the point of disturbance, my heart rate picking up as i felt my insides twist and suddenly my nose fills with the retching smell that i caught earlier that day, i went to go stand on my legs but they seemed to not work. i was frozen in my seat, eyes batting close. head spinning into a state of exhaustion. my thoughts being consumed into a sleepless mindset. 

—

i awakened to light chatter and bright sunlight, the trees reflecting over my pale skin. the warmth keeping me comfortable along the spaced wooden planks beneath me, i flickered my eyes open to see cars riding down the road at a steady pace. i begin to slowly push my upper body up, "sir?" i hear, i rub my eyes to regain full consciousness to the tall male standing over me, hes dressed in a dark blue suit with a coat over. his shiny badge flashing my eyes, causing them to widen. 

"may i speak to you please?" he says, voice sophisticated. i nod my head and sit straight up, eyes searching for my bag that lies under the bench, shut. 

"im officer warren, earlier this morning a woman was attacked with her child after leaving this bus exit on her way home. unfortunately the girls were pronounced deceased a few hours ago. can you recall the last time you saw her?" he announces, british accent strong.

my heart stopped instantly and i immediately thought of allison, my throat tightened up as i try to process what happened last night. i gave her my pocket knife to protect herself. i felt my heart drop into the pit of my tummy. 

"allison?" i say softly under my breath, bending over to rest my face in my palms, my face burning up for a moment as my eyes prick with tears. my heart ached for her child and her wellbeing, if only i had convinced her to stay for the bus with me, maybe she would've been okay. just maybe. 

"yes, im sorry sir, the deaths were tragic. you two close?" 

"no"

"well can you recall your interactions with mrs allison?" he bent down on his knees in front of me, his hand sliding on my knee. i examined his face it demanded answers and suddenly i just poured everything out, "she was here with her daughter for like–five minutes and then decided to leave..i gave her my pocket knife." 

"thank you. may i have your name?"
"no." i shake my head, watching him rise on his feet. he stays for a moment, observing my mannerisms whilst i try to keep my cool, guilt courses through my veins. i wish i could have saved her yet i was being selfish. the officer runs his hands through his slicked back brown hairs before pulling his jacket off and setting it alongside my legs.

"stay safe mate." he grins, walking towards his car that seemed to be a little ways up the road. it was a bit chilly out this morning so i appreciated that but i knew i didn't deserve it at all. if he knew everything i have done in the past twenty four hours i would already be strapped in cuffs pushed into his backseat. 

i take my time to fully wake up and register everything. i stretch my limbs and take a deep breath of the fresh morning air, i had stood and checked my phone for the time. it was around six am. cars were rushing by and childrens school buses were slowly passing through the neighborhoods. it was cool and breezy, i enjoyed it. my mental state was at ease. for now. 

i reached for my bag and tossed it over my shoulder, looking over the bus sign. the first stop should be around here soon, i waited, trying to keep myself awake, i was stressed. inside my bag was where i hid the knife that i once used to slaughter mariah, i was terrified that i was caught. 

she was haunting me.