the trouble

36 2 5

by urlocalmoon

by urlocalmoon

Hi guys.This is not my first time writing a book or a fanfiction but writing it in english is.My native language is not english so if i have spelling mistakes or something dont mind it.Anyway have fun reading while listening to tay tay<3

Here we are again.We were crossing the roads that we knew very well with the same excitement. We were going to our magical place.Conrad was the driver and jeremiah was the passenger princess.
Me and my beautiful mother were in the backseat.

I leaned my head against the window, breathing the fresh air while humming to the cruel summer playing on the radio. I turned to him with a scowl as Jeremiah changed the song.

"Hey can you open my taylor please?"

Jeremiah faked a grimace as he turned to me.

"No, or we'll have to put up with your disgusting voice."

While laughing, I hit jeremiah on the arm and leaned back. He didn't hurt me and he started playing Taylor again. A lot of things were the same as last year. The smiles on our faces, the cottage and this road. But some things had changed too. For example, that he wasnt the same.And I shouldn't be thinking about him anymore. I had to throw him out of my heart.Why did he destroy us, or rather me? Why did he cheated on me?

What did I lack from that girl? What did I do wrong? When I asked Conrad about it, he shook me slightly.

"It's not your fault that he cheated on you, Summer, it's his lack of character," he said.

Maybe he was right, but I couldn't help feeling like this. I lost 5 kilos in 1 month from stress and everyone was aware of it.
They were trying to make me eat something, sometimes I wasn't eating, sometimes I was throwing up. Because I was stressed thinking about him all the time. And throwing up when I was stressed was one of my body's reactions.

But I had to pull myself together. I couldn't poison myself by thinking about him.
This summer, I was going to focus on myself and having fun. He should see a stronger girl in front of him. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and lifted my head up.There was no old me from now, there was a new Summer. After all, we have entered a new summer.The summer that im going to turn pretty.İnside and out.

Of course i find myself pretty but losing pounds make me a little insecure. And i should feel pretty inside too.Cause he made me feel like garbage.I realized now that he was a jerk from the beginning.How he didn't show up for my birthday, how he forget our one year anniversary etc. When my best friend Maya told me that he wasn't good and he was trouble i didn't believe her.
When she told me that he doesn't deserve me i made excuses to defend him. But she was so right. He was trouble and i was dumb.
The blame is on me and now being my old self again and making myself feel good again is my responsibility. Not Conrad's not Jeremiah's not Belly's.

I can't ask them to help me while they are trying to figure out their own lifes. Our life's only begins and ends with us. And mine begins now.