Scenario: You left me at the time when you were the only one I could rely on.
Hange's POV
It hurts when you love someone so much but they don't feel the same way. We keep hoping that one day they will choose us, that they will give us a chance to show what we feel for them. But no matter how we wish we could, we cannot control how another person feels and loves. Just because someone fails to see our worth and efforts, it doesn't make them a bad person, and it doesn't mean that we are unlovable. It simply means that they are not meant for us.
It was mid-September when I met this wonderful girl named Pieck. A miracle happened, this girl makes my heart beat fast whenever I see her. My whole body is full of energy whenever she's around. And yes, it's crazy because I have a huge crush on her. It takes a lot of time and effort to get her attention and trust. Oh, man! She's so hard to deal with! A celebrity-like woman. But I know she can't be mine. So I will admire her from afar. But no matter how much I tried to forget my feelings for her, I kept falling for her more. That's why I decided to confess even if I knew the possible consequence.
Day by day I keep falling deeper, she's the girl who makes me happy and definitely in love, I did my best to win her heart but it is very impossible. Yes, she's kind, funny, and thoughtful but she's also the kind of girl that has a cold heart. It also hurts to see her happy with someone else, I get jealous secretly without her knowing. But it doesn't matter at least I can see her sweet smile. One day, I decided to confess my feelings for her and I didn't expect her response.
“Hmm... Pieck, can we talk for a moment?” I asked
“Oh sure, what is it?” she replied with a smile on her face.
“ I want to say this from the very start but I am afraid that you will avoid me,” I say.
She laughed before responding, “Why would I do that? You know Hans even if I am celebrity like I still have a heart” she reacted then continue her laugh.
“No I'm serious Pieck, because I like you! Actually I'm in love with you, I'm not expecting you to response to my feelings, but I want you to know how I feel,” I mumbled.
“Hans, I don't know what to say about it but thank you for admiring me, I appreciate your feelings,” she said and smile at me.
“Is that a rejection or what?” I asked
“ It's better to left things unsaid, Hans...I mean it's hard to invalidate your feelings toward me, but do not assume too much,” she responded.
“ It's okay, I respect your decision...but let me love you as much as I can, please...even if it is unrequited,” I mumbled.
“ You know Hans, you are lovable and kind hearted person, someone deserves your love, I can count myself lucky to be love by you but unfortunately you are unlucky to have me in your life,” she phrased.
“Why do you say so?” I raised a question.
“Because I am the hardest person to love, I don't know how to return those feelings, I don't feel anything but hatred and pain from my past traumas, I don't wanna hurt someone just because I am like this, I wanna improve myself first, I don't want you to suffer while I am improving myself,” she explained.
“Pieck, do you know how I'm sure I love you? Because I chose you, every single day,” I protest.
“I hope if it's possible now, it's still possible, Hans...Right now I am confused of everything and for my feelings for anyone else, I'm sorry for being like this,” she apologized.
Right now, I am battling between letting her go and still holding on. I know to myself that I couldn't love someone as much as I love her.
