Burned on the back of my eyelid, so clear that I can see it in even the darkest circumstances, was the face of a young man. A young man with unevenly cut blonde hair, and one sparkly blue eye. His right eye closed at all times, and wearing a green jacket as if it were nothing less than a uniform. Two dots freckled his face under his open, and looking as if they were following each other in a perfect line downwards.
When my eyes closed, I could see him staring at me. Even when I tried to alleviate that by staring at the sun, the image of his face was brighter.
It wasn’t until I finally realized that I was without him that it appeared. That endlessly repeating image of his lips, forming three words. Three syllables.
I want to go back there, no matter what the cost is.
--Chapter one: Pregnancy—
“Wake up, slut.”
My dreams were torn apart by my stepmother’s voice. My eyes opened up to her beautiful face that I learned to despise. I gritted my teeth together a little.
“Good morning, Mistress Mara.” I addressed her with a smile and sat up. I didn’t want to be kicked out again for grabbing my alarm clock and smashing her over the head with it, which I did once before. She continued to stare at me, before sighing and shaking her head disapprovingly.
“Go get ready for school, or you’ll miss it.” She threw my uniform on the bed, and then continued to walk around my room in an orderly fashion, “And if you miss school too much, you will get expelled, and if you get expelled, then master Nao will be angry, and you will have proven yourself a slut after all.”
Nao is my father. I didn’t know him until I was seven, when he tracked down my mother and sued her for custody, claiming that she was ‘an insufficient parent for a young woman.’ I scarcely see my birthmother, since my father marries someone else every few months. His obsession is basically to marry someone until they get pregnant, divorse them, and then get his children’s custody. That being said, I have a very large family, and Mara was the least of my worries.
“I’m not a slut.” My eyebrow quirked a little, and I sat up, stretching left to right. “And I’d like you to stop calling me one.”
Her eyes glazed over at me. “Well,” She said, “If you weren’t a slut, then you would be living with your beloved ‘boyfriend’, which you probably don’t even have.”
“Why,” I said, tugging the curtains open after forcing myself up. “Would I lie about having a boyfriend? Especially when-“
“You’re pregnant, I get it.” She almost hissed before saying her last words of the morning, “Just get ready soon.” And then she left.
I had been holding my breath a little until she left. “Good God.” I tried to roll my eyes around my head as much as I could before I felt a little dizzy. “She’s a keeper, dad, wherever you are in this god-forsaken household.”
I am pregnant. About six months in, so says my doctor. I have only recently seen my belly grow , considering the face I was already relatively chubby, mostly in the stomach and face. In face, I didn’t find out that I was pregnant until about two months ago. I then kept it secret for a month before spouting it out in a crying guilt fit-type argument I had with my boyfriend, and then left to come here. And of course, communication with him has been severed, and I have not seen him or heard his voice since I bailed out on him.
Even if I wanted to, I can’t until I get to a phone somewhere far away from where I live. You see, me and him both used to live with a ‘man’ (And by man, I mean a human looking Japanese fox obake) named Minna. He was a very bitter man, and had more than murderous tendencies. We technically worked for him, and he hated the shit out of me. My boyfriend, who I may as well tell you is named Oleander, is one of his most beloved and trusted ‘employees.’
If he found out about our love affair, our child, our anything, then I’d be the one taking all the shit from it. And I would imagine that it would either end in my unborn fetus being ripped from my body, or my HEART being ripped from my chest. Either way, I can’t contact him yet.
And looking back on it, I feel bad about casually saying something like “Oh hey, I’m pregnant, aaaaand I’m leaving for a very long time or possibly forever, bye now~!” to him. Well, not casually, but you understand.
At any rate, I was tired. Maybe skipping one day of school wouldn’t hurt.
I locked my door, and retreated back to my bed to close my eyes and fall asleep again. With everything I’ve been going through lately, I think Mara can wait before I turn my usual pissy attitude into the sweet girl she can tolerate.
After all, I’m having a fucking baby.
