prologue

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2019. late summer

This summer has been the best one in my life so far. Travelling around the world with my fiancé, seeing the most spectacular places while meeting extremely kind people? Some people told me I'm a fool for saying yes to Daniel's proposal but they don't know how much we love each other. Even some of my own friends told me that I will never be the first in his eyes, it's gonna be racing, and I'm too young for him etc. I am glad our families had other views on our relationship, because they had known each other for a long time, my side knew Daniel well and his side me, so they hadn't got any worry about us. My family didn't know yet, that we are engaged because my parents moved back to Hungary a few years ago to take care of the elderly generation and I stayed in Australia since I had to finish my studies which I completed. Being a writer allowes me to work from anywhere so I chose to go with Danny becuse we had always missed each other too much during the consecutive race weeks. 

In August, there is the summer break every year after the Hungaroring which was handy, we could visit my family to tell them the great news. Daniel was so excited all week before the race and then when it ended, he cancelled an interview so that we could arrive as soon as possible. We hailed a taxi, we were holding hands throughout the ride.

"You are really this excited?" I asked as he was mumbling his speech, he wanted to learn it in hungarian because that way everyone will understand it. "I told you you don't have to translate it, I can" I ran my indexfinger along his hand, he shook his head.

"No, I want the first impression to be perfect" he exclaimed and looked at me with puppy eyes. He was assertive and cute at the same time. 

"What first impression Danny? They know you" I mentioned something I thought he knew because our families spent years together, where he was also present. It was adoreable how he wanted everything to be perfect tho.

"Jem, not every relative of yours knows me!" argued my fiancé, which I found sweet.

"Danny" I held his face with my other hand, trying to calm him with the delicate touch and a warm smile. "Don't worry, everyone will be happy to hear that now this amazing man is not just my boyfriend but fiancé"

"Well you're right, I am amazing" he laughed and then stole a quick kiss from me. "Now help me with that hungarian word, I have no idea how to say it" he showed me a piece of paper with his notes, I sighed. I knew he was not gonna give up until he knows the words by heart.


2021. early autumn

Our wedding was a huge, exterial one with our loved ones, the family and friends and everyone you could think about. He always wanted a memorable ceremony, I was a bit stressed about being in the spotlight but it was fine. For the location, we chose Italy mostly because my now husband has italian origins but also because of the outstanding scenery and the vibes. Days before the ceremony, Danny won the race in Italy so we were euphoric to begin with. The wedding party was to celebrate our love and his success too, the other drivers were invited.

"Who's ready for another round?" shouted Fernando, holding up his empty champagne glass, he held his wife's waist with his other hand. The wife happened to be my best friend, they got married a few months ago.

Everyone cheered in the crowd, the waiters poured more champagne to the adults and since the first toast was made for the newly-wed couple's happines, I wanted to show my husband how proud I was of him.

"I raise my glass to you, Danny" I looked at him, holding the glass of champagne up. "To your victory, darling" I know he smiles all the time, but this was different, his eyes were also shining with happiness and he looked at me as if i was the prettiest thing in the world.

Everyone shouted "to Daniel's victory" and the boys drank it quickly after the toast. After the feast, I danced with every one of our guests. Of course before that we had our first dance as spouses and with parents. All of these were fun, everyone got drunk who was not too underaged. I was happy to see that Fernando treated Nora very well, and finally my other best friend Zero who came back from the USA could also meet the drivers in person. 

After I ran out of people to hang out on the dancefloor and Danny was still busy with his relatives I started the round from the beginning, I asked Carlos if he would let me take his dancepartner for a bit. "Can I steal them for a dance?" 

"Of course, but take them back to me" he winked and gave Zero a kiss on their hand to say goodbye for a few minutes.

"That was something, he's flirting with you" I stated as we started to dance together.

"I hope so because I wouldn't be brave enough" they looked over to Nora and Nando, then back to me. "I'm so sad I couldn't come to their wedding, they are so adorable together!"

"It happened so fast you couldn't even book a flight, but now you're here and Danny wants to get to know you more tho" they had met before in person, but only twice and years before. I loved it how Daniel wanted to be friends with my friends too, he knew how important they were to me.

A minute passed or so and as I was explaining Zero how great the Alonsos' wedding was, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"How's my pretty husband?" I turned around and kissed him as an answer, his hands were now on my waist, we started dancing after parting our lips.

"It's weird that now I'm in a dress but you call me husband" I giggled, but I loved it, he was always supportive of me being myself. I decided that I want to wear a dress tonight so that we won't confuse his family, and some relatives of mine too.

"Well, you are my husband, it doesn't matter what you wear" he leaned down a bit, so that he could whisper to me. "I love you darling"

"I love you too" the music changed after I said these out loud to a much slower one, we danced through it in each other's arms.


2022. march

"But I really want to go with you!" I pleaded with tears in my eyes, but he did not look at me, he was packing his stuff. It was time for him to leave for the season and he wanted to leave me here. I did not want to be seperated from him, the last few months had been great and he was aware of how tortured we both our when we can't meet for a long time.

"I said, I want to separate work from everything. I have to get better, if I won't leave everything from my life here I never will" he reminded me of what he had told me a few times now, I still couldn't understand it, nor take it.

"Danny, please don't leave me here" I whispered.

"I will visit you, we can still meet when its not race week" he finally turned around and came to hug me. "I promise I will come back to you everytime I can"


2022. november

Daniel promised me to meet up with me at least monthly, but it did not happen. We met a few times throughout the season, but it was a lot less than what he had promised. I begged him to take me with him when it was the summer vacation and he came home for a longer time, but he never agreed.  After the season was over, we spent three months together which felt better than how it was when we could not meet at all, but not the same as before. We were getting slowly distant, and it was not just the physical distance which was a part of our life for almost a year, but emotionally. I never thought that I would ever have to be worried if my Danny still loves me, but the time has come.

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