The Diaries of Missy Jackson

3rd July 2014

Um..Dear Diary I guess..
I got this for my birthday last week and I'm kinda confused about what I should write in here..I mean in films you always see girls writing in their diaries about boys, friends, maybe a drama that happened, or a heartbreak. All the cheesy stuff that you'd expect. Nothing under the surface, no personal stuff. I guess that's what I'll write. Personal stuff I mean..

So, I'll start with an introduction. My name's Missy Jackson, I'm 17 years old and last week my mom thought she'd get me a diary as a birthday present. That's the type of thing I have to say at my support group, my name, age, a fact about myself. And, of course, my problem. Social anxiety. All sorts of people attend, different every week. My best friend, Jon, goes too. He has panic disorder and GAD. I met him at Support Group, we clicked when we shared our passion for music. We always wanted to start a band, combining our musical talents. I can play bass, he's a drummer. Perfect, right? Except with my..disorder..I'm too afraid to even hold band auditions. Maybe, eventually, we'll be able to. I hope so, being in a band would do Jon good. He's such a sweet person, it's a shame that most people don't see it.

We were told about a presentation we'd have to do today. It's due next week, in front of my science class. We have to choose a body part to focus on (internal!) and do a presentation on it. Of course, my science teacher, Mrs Alexander, has no clue about my anxiety. I don't know how I'll get out of this one..
I've tried talking to mom about it but she doesn't understand. She thinks it's all put on, all an act. I've tried to tell her about when Jon took me to the Docs, but she won't listen. So of course only my close friends know, and one or two teachers. It doesn't help when a distant friend finds me sobbing at the back of the library, having a panic attack. They don't get it either. Apart from Jon, my adopted sister and best friend Natalie is the most supportive. She understands, well at least she tries to. Sometimes it gets hard, but she tries. I love her for that.

Back to Science. For the project, I'm working with Chris. We sit together in the lesson, apparently 'flirting' to Natalie. We're close, he knows about my disorder. He helps me through it by making me laugh when I'm close to tears, hugging me when nothing's working. I really appreciate him, Chris is amazing. He just might be amazing enough to let me produce the PowerPoint while he reads it out. Our teacher, on the other hand, maybe not.
Shit, mom's calling me for dinner. I'll write tomorrow I guess, this was surprisingly easy to do!
Bye,
Missy Jackson, the socially awkward one ^.^