The final push.

Friends.

She sat staring at her phone. Another person gone. She wouldn't forgive her. Why would she? She'd hurt her. Badly. It was her karma. Always had been. Every single time this sort of thing had happened, it had been her fault. Why wouldn't it be? She did so many things wrong. She did comforting wrong. She did writing and drawing wrong. Everything she should do right, she did wrong, simply because she worked differently. The rest of her friends would leave as well. No one would be left to care. And if no one cares, nothing is worth remaining in a useless place as a useless person. She smiled. Of course, she'd never cared about them. Not truly. Apathy was her best friend, after all. And if she's apathetic about everything and everyone, no one can hurt her. So, if she can't get pain, she can't get happiness either. She doesn't deserve it, since she went through no pain. The pain she does know isn't nearly enough to be like them. To have them be family. She's just different. She has no real trauma. Yes, of course she'd been hurt very badly but. That wasn't trauma. Her family didn't care about it. So she didn't care about it. What if her family had been right with that she would have to leave? She did always have a flair for the dramatic. What better way to blame it on an accident, rather than actually complying and doing it herself? If she failed, she wouldn't feel guilt, because it'd been an accident. She wanted to anyway. She wanted an accident to happen. She wanted to be gone without being blamed or other people trying to stop her. Can't do either of that if she's not the one who caused it. And hopefully she wouldn't survive. She never did care much about any barriers in her way, getting over them or just ignoring them until it was too late and she can't turn back and she's wrong because she's always wrong and she'll never be right about anything. Not about her identity, not about her friends and not about her family. She'd vented in their dms, when she was allowed to. It was late. That was to blame for that happening. She'd been tired and uncaring for consequences. Of course she would. She had no reason to hide anything from them, after all. Bit now she did. She had to hide her plans. But no one else was with her. She left no clue that she would. It'd be an accident. No it wouldn't be. She wanted this. She was just too pussy to do it, most of the time. This had been the final push, though. Someone else going. Leaving. Even though she had begged them not to. They always would. She knew that. Of course she did. She experienced it a lot, after all. Everyone leaves. Everyone moved on. Except her. She was always stuck in the past. Stuck being a child. Stuck in 1 experience that changed her mind. That warped her. They wouldn't care. She'd just be another number to add. Of course she would be. She silently made her way over to the station and hopped over the barrier. She could hear a honk in the background. And the train, of course. She smiled. This would be the end.